Orientation Schizophrenia

[archubbycub]

That's exactly what I went through as well before I came out. 21 years of it in fact! They say it only takes one week of doing the same thing over and over again to form a habit. And if, like me, you've been going through this since high school, you've had more than enough time to build a habit of beating yourself up every time you even look at a guy, whether it be just a mere casual glance or lustfully wanting to jump into bed with him.

You need to take some time, a good long look at yourself and figure out who you are and what you want out of life. That's not the easiest thing to do. Trust me! I'm having to do that very same thing right now even though I finally figured out that I am gay and I've accepted it. That's the only way you will ever find true peace in your life.

I agree with Bowyn on the fact that society dictates to all of us that being gay is wrong. And it's not just religious zealots that fuel these evil flames of hate and bigotry, though they are at the forefront of it. But that's not to say that religion and spirituality are inherently bad things. You just have to weed through all the bullshit to find the truth. And that is, you are a damn good person regardless of who you are attracted to or love.

But know this, you are surrounded by the greatest group of people on this forum. Most if not all of us know exactly what you are going through because we've all been there at some point or other in our lives NAND I hope you have a tremendous support structure of friends in your offline life as well. If not, reach out to your friends that support you and can be there for you, whether they are gay, straight, male, female, or whatever. And for those who can't except you for who you are I say SCREW THEM!! Because in the end, you are the one who matters and you have to be happy and comfortable with who you are.

Best of luck my friend!!