update on my situation

[NayNay]

I think breaking up is a reasonably reason to be feeling the emotions and physical pain (because your body does physically respond to a break up, unfortunately) you're feeling.

Like everyone said, a professional can help guide you through this all, and if it's too hard, a medication could help.

You might need to cut yourself off from your ex and everything that reminds you of him. Not permanetely and not because you hate him --- but because when you start living your life without him, truly independently, you'll learn that you can do it, and the pain will start to alleviate. However, every time you reach out and see him you're allowing yourself to entertain the thought of a relationship with him, and you're essentially resetting the progress you've made.

It's also likely that you're an anxious person in general, which isn't really a bad thing. But this is definitely making that more heightened, which is another great reason to see a professional and commit yourself to a life without the ex (again; you can always be friends in the future, but for now not a good idea)... because getting over the break up will reduce the anxiety, and a professional can give you medications and self help excersizes to reduce your general anxiety.

My brother's first girlfriend had severe anxiety, to the point where she could not talk to my family (her through would literally feel closed, she told me). I was the exception as we'd been friends for a long time, but she had a lot of panic attacks towards the end of the relationship and it just seemed so much worse. They ended on good terms and consider each other friends, but I notice they rarely talk, and she seems to be back to herself lately. She receives medication but does not see a professional --- likely because she's lower income/afraid.

I do think, however, that breaking up and creating a distance did help her a lot, as she seems to have gotten over her breaks ups quite well.

I bothered to mention her because it seemed relevent....

I hope you start having more good days soon. As someone who feels severe anxiety infrequently, like most people, I can't wish regular anxiety on anyone, and it makes me sad to have read your post.

Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it!