advice

[marshlander]

hi, im 18 and bi (i think) i have setup a meet with a random guy who is older then me, to take my anal and oral cherry, but im unsure if i can actually have sex with a man, do you have any advice for me?

If you're not 100% CERTAIN [SIZE=2]that you can and WANT to do it then [SIZE=7]DON'T!![SIZE=2]... [/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]

Hi teeny1818. I have to agree with sox-and-the-city. However, let's assume you have thought this through carefully, you have somehow vetted your "random guy" (a worrying enough concept in itself) and you are fully conversant with the principles of safer sex (condoms, lube and being prepared to insist they are used). Value yourself. Remember YOU have something HE wants more than he has something you want. I would suggest you meet up first in a very public place. Go for a coffee together somewhere (not an alcoholic drink, you want all your critical faculties fully operational). Spend a bit of time talking, listening and watching (to be honest I'd probably engage my sense of smell too :eek: ). If anything seems not to add up or make sense, or seems slightly icky, bale out. If you plan to go to the guy's house insist you know where it is before you go and let a friend know where you are. Do you have a way home planned if it suddenly becomes "inconvenient" for him to take you back to civilisation?

If you've not had man-to-man contact before, be prepared that you may not respond in the way you think you are going to. Finding yourself in the real situation is very different from masturbating over porn. Letting a man wank or suck you off is one thing, but what if he wants to kiss you too? What else will he expect from you? If he thinks you have promised him everything what are you leaving yourself to bargain with? Realistically you are quite likely to orgasm quickly under these circumstances so will he be satisfied with a hand-job or, indeed, nothing at all if you lose all desire after coming? Are you strong enough to stop if you don't want to carry on or go further or will you end up letting him have it all his own way?

Just as there are plenty of sleazebags out there, there are also some nice guys and you may just hit lucky, but there are probably more effective ways of finding them than trawling through Gaydar.

I know it feels like everything has to be done now at your age ... I can just about remember being 18 However, owing to the doubts you express I can't help thinking that you might want to take it a little more slowly and enjoy exploring homo sex with someone of your own age who is just as unsure as you. Acting in haste gives you plenty of opportunity for repenting at leisure.

If, after all, you insist on going through with this remember you place the limits. It is okay to say no to anything you don't want to do. If you can't feel safe it's probably best not to go through with it.

All the best and I hope you find what you are looking for.