advice

[teeny1818]

hi, im 18 and bi (i think) i have setup a meet with a random guy who is older then me, to take my anal and oral cherry, but im unsure if i can actually have sex with a man, do you have any advice for me?

[sox-and-the-city]

If you're not 100% CERTAIN [SIZE=2]that you can and WANT to do it then [SIZE=7]DON'T!!
[SIZE=2]It sounds really silly and judgemental but if you're not in a place where you're gonna feel totally comfortable with everything at outset then don't go there.

Trust me i got myself into SUCH a mess with the way i was when i was younger. You don't wanna go there...

Just bail on the random and focus on living, if you're bi or gay then the whole man thing will happen in a much more enjoyable way in it's own good time. And you'll be glad you listened to me and you've not been left in a ditch in the middle of nowhere walking home trying not to sob as you bleed in places you weren't sure that's supposed to happen...

xxx
[/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]

[fjp999]

@sox... hope that was just a hypothetical...

hey teeny, unless you really know this meetup, like weeks of talking and getting to know one another... you still shouldnt do it.

I belong to another large forum and lots of stories of youngsters using the net to lose their cherries and it nearly always ends up a disaster. There are a lot of freaks out there and they are just dreaming of meeting someone like yourself - CANCEL. take soxs advice and let life flow.

You really dont want to pass down a story of how you lost your virginity and ended up in hospital or worse!!!

then you have a much larger question... just getting it on with a man. Have you had sex with a woman? Have you kissed a guy? Why have you chosen to describe yourself as bi?

well, lots of questions... hope you come back and work things out.

see ya

[Smurlos]

Hey teeny,

I just want to say that not all guys are 'gay' for the sex mile:
You mention you think you're bi in one breath and then just mention the sex in the second breath. There are also gay guys out there like my boyfriend and I who do not practise anal sex for example... as there are probably couples out there who only practise anal sex? It really does differ. But I know that I'm in it for the wonderful guy aspect mile:

First question to ask yourself is, would you be ready to meet a guy from online, to chat to and get to know a little bit first? I wouldn't jump in with two feet... do you know that this guy is HIV neg? Do you know that he's going to be gentle and not cause any damage being as it's your first time? These are all things I'd want to take into consideration on my first time and I think the only way you'd be able to ascertain that these conditions are met is by creating a 'kind of' connection with the person, getting to know them a bit, finding out a bit about them and letting them find out stuff about you.

Once the first step has been taken and you feel that you are now ready to meet this guy, you need to take things one step at a time. So don't rush into it. If at any point you suddenly don't want to do it, you need to know that the guy is going to stop and respect your decision and isn't going to go any further than you are willing to go.

Is it just a case of you wanting to have things done to you? Or are you willing to do things back for him?

I'd probably start off maybe meeting the guy and start off with a simple hand job? Then maybe arrange to meet the week after and move on to oral. If you're comfortable with that and then want to go further, then leave that for another week, don't do the whole lot all at once.

Are you looking for love in this new aspect you've discovered in yourself? Or are you purely looking for the sex and wanting to find yourself a member of the female species to settle down with?

[marshlander]

hi, im 18 and bi (i think) i have setup a meet with a random guy who is older then me, to take my anal and oral cherry, but im unsure if i can actually have sex with a man, do you have any advice for me?

If you're not 100% CERTAIN [SIZE=2]that you can and WANT to do it then [SIZE=7]DON'T!![SIZE=2]... [/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]

Hi teeny1818. I have to agree with sox-and-the-city. However, let's assume you have thought this through carefully, you have somehow vetted your "random guy" (a worrying enough concept in itself) and you are fully conversant with the principles of safer sex (condoms, lube and being prepared to insist they are used). Value yourself. Remember YOU have something HE wants more than he has something you want. I would suggest you meet up first in a very public place. Go for a coffee together somewhere (not an alcoholic drink, you want all your critical faculties fully operational). Spend a bit of time talking, listening and watching (to be honest I'd probably engage my sense of smell too :eek: ). If anything seems not to add up or make sense, or seems slightly icky, bale out. If you plan to go to the guy's house insist you know where it is before you go and let a friend know where you are. Do you have a way home planned if it suddenly becomes "inconvenient" for him to take you back to civilisation?

If you've not had man-to-man contact before, be prepared that you may not respond in the way you think you are going to. Finding yourself in the real situation is very different from masturbating over porn. Letting a man wank or suck you off is one thing, but what if he wants to kiss you too? What else will he expect from you? If he thinks you have promised him everything what are you leaving yourself to bargain with? Realistically you are quite likely to orgasm quickly under these circumstances so will he be satisfied with a hand-job or, indeed, nothing at all if you lose all desire after coming? Are you strong enough to stop if you don't want to carry on or go further or will you end up letting him have it all his own way?

Just as there are plenty of sleazebags out there, there are also some nice guys and you may just hit lucky, but there are probably more effective ways of finding them than trawling through Gaydar.

I know it feels like everything has to be done now at your age ... I can just about remember being 18 However, owing to the doubts you express I can't help thinking that you might want to take it a little more slowly and enjoy exploring homo sex with someone of your own age who is just as unsure as you. Acting in haste gives you plenty of opportunity for repenting at leisure.

If, after all, you insist on going through with this remember you place the limits. It is okay to say no to anything you don't want to do. If you can't feel safe it's probably best not to go through with it.

All the best and I hope you find what you are looking for.

[Phil]

Dood i wish someone had said that ^^^^^ too me at 18...top advice not too de-rail a thread but you have a great way of sayin things Marshlander

[Bob]

I went through something simular to this scenerio... and to be blunt as the others, don't do it unless you're 100% sure. I wasn't and I ended up regretting it a lot.
Like Marshlander said, try exploring it with somebody your own age, who is as equally confused as you are. It would be a much better experience.

[Shadow]

There's very little I can add, as the boys have hit the nail right smack-bang on the head ...

If you're unsure (and as this is your first time), you're leaving yourself vulnerable on a number of levels, mostly because a) you lack the experience to perhaps gauge exactly what's going on, and how to respond appropriately; and b) you're not even sure it's what you really want.

My advice would be to take a step back, assess the situation and NOT go with random guy at all. It may SEEM appealing, and it may BE appealing, but your first time ought to be special and significant - not seedy or borne of desperation (or indeed anything less than 100% sincerity from both parties).

If you do decide you want to lose your virginity to somebody to see whether you like it or not, then take your time, get to know the person first, and make sure that you're comfortable with them, and that they will treat you right.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!