Emotional Infidelity...?

[TwisttheLeaf]

....he thinks I'm too close to my friend and talk to him too much and tell him too many personal things. It's not like I'm taking time away from being with my BF, we often work different shifts so he isn't even home. And I don't talk to my friend INSTEAD of my BF.

Are you sharing things with your friend that you aren't sharing with your boyfriend?
Are you sharing things with your friend first, before you share them with your boyfriend?

I've found that these two in particular can make quite a difference. Gideon and I are both VERY sensitive to the emotional infidelity issue, perhaps because we are in a long distance relationship, yeah? It is a huge thing to find out things important to your partner have been shared with someone else before you.... or to feel that someone else is getting to know your partner better than you know them, and you partner is letting them.

It's scary. It can hurt.

Does this mean that you need to abandon your friend? No. But it -does- mean you need to pay attention to how much -intimacy- you give your friend VS. how much you give your partner and make sure the scales way in your BF's favor.

In these kinds of situations (in general)...I would redirect the question and ask him to explain in his own words exactly what bothers him..and why. A lot of times when a person gets out of their head and hears themselves it can unlock things that might otherwise be unseen....

Gideon does this for me a lot when something is bothering me, and it really helps. He'll talk me in circles around and around until we can get to the core of something, and refuses to let me deflect but instead will keep talking around it and nudging at it until he gets to the core.

This might help you understand your partner's issue, it's what you do with the information once you understand that's the question. If he -really- opens up and bears himself out to you, his feelings and fears etc? And you belittle or disregard those feelings.... it could severely damage his trust in you and/or trust in your love. So tread carefully.