08-24-2014, 11:17 AM
Anonymous Wrote:So my boyfriend and I, we're dating for about four months now. We're both 18 years old and we're also each other's first relationships.
Our relationships are amazing and I'm very happy to have him, but I've noticed something about myself that makes me think about whether I'm right for him. I know that most guys of my age would just jump at sex at every possibility, however not me. When I was single I sometimes thought that my sexual needs must be low, because I only wanted to masturbate one or two times a month. I just didn't feel the need to do it more often. Most of the time I didn't even think about sex, I had a lot of other things to do - school, housework, hobbies. And now, when I'm with him, I realize I just can't do a lot of things. I'm too shy for them. I like it when he plays with my hair, kissing is fine too, but nothing more. When I think about being naked in front of someone, it terrifies me. I like him a lot and I'm attracted to him, but I just cannot bring myself to do more than kissing. Sometimes he lies next to me on the pillow and looks in my eyes and I'm thinking like - am I supposed to do something now? is he waiting for something?
I've not been abused or religious anything like that, it's just who I am. Could it be that I'm just not ready for relationships? Could it be that I'm too young for sexual things? I even offered him to break up, he didn't even want to hear about it. He says he's satisfied with everything between us. He's says he's happy with me. I'm happy with him too, but this is not how relationships should work, right? We're supposed to have sex, right?
Quote:I'm happy with him too, but this is not how relationships should work, right?
Ok. since you know what they shouldn't work like, care to enlighten us how they should work?
Hmm...
Quote:I even offered him to break up, he didn't even want to hear about it. He says he's satisfied with everything between us. He's says he's happy with me.
So the only one unhappy about this situation is you, he on the other hand appears to not mind... So......?
Quote:Sometimes he lies next to me on the pillow and looks in my eyes and I'm thinking like - am I supposed to do something now?
https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=lovers+deep+gaze+
Lots of sites, pick one and start reading... Staring deeply into the eyes of the person you love doesn't mean sex is expected...
I think the thing you should do is star back... (Many of the sites suggest it).
I think you are just inexperienced in matters of love.
Unfortunately from up here later in life I cannot tell you what you should or shouldn't do in these matters.
See life is about experiences, and somethings we just need to experience in order to learn about.
Since two are talking, there isn't a communication issue. Since he appears to not mind the lack of sex, then that isn't an issue.
You just need to get comfortable with your own skin.... I can't tell you the magic trick to do that - just do it I guess.
Continue to talk with him. But don't beat the dead horse. There is a fine line between checking if we are ok with X in a relationship and being overly needy for reassurances.