Meet A Great Guy, Makes more then me?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

"but he doesn't really know the extent of it, because I live a modest life way below my means."

Well if he does know he can't see it from the perspective you see it.

People without money who see hard working people without a lot of fancy stuff assume that like themselves the person is without money.

Poverty and working class people approach life differently than those who have the financial security to do things like invest in the future (retirement).

As for trips to places, he might actually not know how the financial aspect of that works... but then he already gets that its more of a burden, like with food and airfare... Which he can't afford.

Sure you are willing to pay for it, but at what point does accepting your gifts start feeling like he's a gold digger to you? He doesn't know, and I assure you a lot of un-rich folk don't want to be gold-diggers.

Another aspect that folk who are not financially secure have is that down here in the trenches there are too many people who try to buy us - buy our love, buy our affection, use material gain as a way to manipulate us into doing stuff.

Many of us are leery of hidden strings attached, the general assumption is that we will 'owe' something in return because too often we end up having to exchange 'gifts' - you give me something, I give you something.

So the issue is a lot more complex than just seeing X and Y bank accounts, the two life styles are very different.

The poorer a person is the more hard choices they have to make. For instance here in the USA many a once poor people spent a life having to treat their own ailments and put off seeking medical help until it warranted a ER visit. Once they get health benefits and all of that they still live the way they did.... putting off medical stuff until later.

This is core programing that isn't going to change over night.

The catch 22 you are in, in hiding your wealth from him, is going to lead him to believe that you really don't have the money yourself, thus he is going to be more reluctant to spend your money. He is seeing life from his perspective and putting you in that space he is at, you are seeing it from your perspective and trying to put him in that.

You both need to be able to try to see each others perspective.