How to meet (ACTUAL) masculine men?

[RawPower]

Hello everyone,

Been reading random things on this website for a while now, and just decided to make an account. Just some quick background, I'm 19, 180lbs, muscular, wrestling, football, track and field, and mainly bodybuilding, video games, 5'10. I'm bisexual, but mainly attracted to men.

So, I've been talking to guys for about two years now, and I've been on about twenty dates. I've met them all online, because the guys I'm attracted to are most likely straight. One thing that gets a little frustrating for me is when I'm talking to a guy and I ask him if he thinks he's masculine. And they always say something along the lines of "of course, people get surprised when I say I'm gay". But it seems to me (based off my personal experiences only don't get offended) that the gay men I meet, who consider themselves "masculine" only think so because they aren't cheerleading or wearing rainbows. But for me, I base masculinity off the general stereotype of; sports, aggression, video games, deeper voice, generally more aggressive music, etc etc (I'm a little sleepy I'm sure I've missed some). Here's some random videos of guys that act like me and a guy I would like:

(post these later can't view youtube)

It's just I want a guy who will fit in with my friends, when it comes to me and gay men I always feel like an outcast, I don't fit in at all. I know there has to be some somewhere, but how does someone find them? There's no way I'm going up to every masculine guy and hitting on him, I'm not in the closet. I can get into most bars (don't worry about it) but gay bars wouldn't be my thing. I'm not really sure what to do, should I be even more critical on dating sites? I'm not sure, sorry for all the rambling. And thanks for reading.

[Drew]

Just continue doing things you like, like sports and hitting the gym. You'll meet other gay/bi men with your interests. There are a ton of other traditionally masculine gay men out there, you just need to be patient. Maybe yield a bit with what passes for masculine in your book, too. Like, if he's muscular and has tattoos but loves Beyoncé. Is it that that much of knock or turn-off, ultimately? Figure out your "must haves", keep the number of your "must NOT haves" to a handful, and you'll be alright.

[MountLogan]

Masculinity is so relative.
So instead ....
Say you would like someone sharing the same interests of you: video games, sports and aggressive music.
write that in your profile and don't meet if they don't fit those criteria if it's so important to you.

That's my two cent!

[Cuddly]

1) Why does your profile say you're 18 and gay, when your post says that you're 19 and bi?
2) You're thinking of your life-partner as an accesory, like a wristwatch or iPhone cover. That's one of the defining traits of narcisism, the other being partner=self in every way.
3) Personally, I put more stock in values and personalities than I do in similarities in hobbies. I love my husbear because, well he's a bear and I like that, obviously, but I've stuck with him because he's awesome in every way. He's so caring and compassionate. He's so smart, in a different more people-skill-way than I am. He's just awesome all the way through. Meanwhile, my biggest hobbies are sculpturing, gaming and listening to rock music. He enjoys none of the three. He likes reading books true to history about wars and stuff, I like to read fantasy stuff. He likes westerns, I don't. He can sit down and enjoy a movie or a TV-show, which I rarely can, unless it's something seriously amazing like Game of Thrones, Walking Dead or Marco Polo. Otherwise I do my sculpturing or homework while watching the shows with him. I hope this helps to show you that you don't need to be clones to be in a relationship, but hey, if that's your jam, then that's fine too.
I think clones would have a hard time agreeing though... I find that those who are similar to me are the ones I can't get along with.

[East]

I am guessing it is an image of masculinity that you seek.

I saw a slogan once...IMAGE IS EVERYTHING...Maybe you can contemplate what that means to you...and proceed accordingly.

Most of my friends today are straight and hyper masculine...I suspect none of them would fit your idea of what is masculine....just a hunch....

[meridannight]

ACTUAL masculine males.

lols.

you are entitled to like who you like, but i hope you understand nobody has a map to tell you where you can find men that match your taste. if you need to walk up to a man and ask him if he thinks he is masculine....if you can't tell from seeing or interacting with him, then i can't help you with that.

i suspect the real issue might be more you detracting masculinity, rather than guys you meet not having it, than the other way around. no?

[JackTX]

for me, I base masculinity off the general stereotype of; sports, aggression, video games, deeper voice, generally more aggressive music, etc etc

I think you figured out your own problem: You're attracted to stereotypes and not real people.

You should just stay home and jack off while thinking about angry dudes :p

[Virge]

Here's the type guy you need to be looking for and you won't find him easily on line..... because....

Most of interests are like yours... (not the same as the majority of gays) ... (sports, staying fit, outdoorsy, probably fishes, kayaks, surfs, scuba, gets dirty, likes to work on cars and trucks, maybe has some adrenaline junkie interests like skydiving, racing, climbing, cross fitness, triathelon, endurance running, dirt bikes, 4 wheelers, maybe guns and archery.

Like you, he's not going to be easy to pick out of a crowd and probably has more good straight friends than gays.

The best way to find guys like that is to "throw the net wide" >> meet more people, get involved with new things and new groups, if you're not working, find a job where you will meet the general public... or just get out and make it a point to meet new guys.

I'm in a state with ONE gay bar that's 5+ hours away. Most gay guys here are close to what you're looking for. I found out a couple of months ago about one of the start on the HS football team being gay... and I would have never guessed he was.

AND if you meet straight people who have cool attitudes about gay people that probably means they have gay friends -- telling them about yourself will just about ALWAYS lead to them wanting to set you up to meet one or more of their friends. Network, network network.

And good luck

[araya]

I didn't really get this masculinity complex you speak of

One thing that gets a little frustrating for me is when I'm talking to a guy and I ask him if he thinks he's masculine. And they always say something along the lines of "of course, people get surprised when I say I'm gay". But it seems to me (based off my personal experiences only don't get offended) that the gay men I meet, who consider themselves "masculine" only think so because they aren't cheerleading or wearing rainbows. But for me, I base masculinity off the general stereotype of; sports, aggression, video games, deeper voice, generally more aggressive music, etc etc (I'm a little sleepy I'm sure I've missed some). Here's some random videos of guys that act like me and a guy I would like:

you ask people if they're masculine? can't you tell from the way they do things and talk?
I know people who aren't even in your stereotypes but I still can call them masculine
not like I insult you because of your taste but well, good luck on finding the masculine man you always wanted

[MikeW]

[MENTION=22075]RawPower[/MENTION] have you joined realjock.com yet? That's where all the REAL MASC GAY BOIS hang. Just sayn'. Seriously, just look at the front page 'who is online' and you'll oggle wat i mean.