09-12-2014, 03:13 AM
My BF understands I have WAY more money than he does, because I have explicitly told him so in those exact words. I don't follow the idea that I am being in any way dishonest with him, maybe you can further explain. I don't think he has any right to know my net worth. Is that what you are suggesting? I am not comfortable with that. Maybe someday.
I've clearly explained to him that I don't need to work, that I have way more money than him, and that I am much more comfortable paying when we do things since it's trivial sums of money for me, and that the greatest gift he could give me would be to invest his earnings wisely for himself so he achieves some of his own financial independence.
Before he met me he had no retirement account, no financial literacy. I've taught him a lot. He's been open to learning about money. The problem in America is we have almost no social safety net and absolutely no education in financial matters.
Anoxcu's charged response shows how differing people's perceptions around wealth can be. I don't know how much longer I wish to participate in this topic if that is the tone.
So my advice if I could put it more succinctly. If you're dating someone who obviously and truly has way more money than you, offer to pick up the dinner tab from time to time, but don't insist over and over again at one meal to pay if the person of greater means feels more comfortable taking care of it. Don't make a big deal out of it. (I personally find that annoying because it becomes arguing over money, which is really dull.)
For my own situation, I would much rather receive a gracious offer I can respectfully thank and decline and have my BF keep investing his extra money, currently with my help when he asks for it, and eventually on his own when he's up to the task. Him achieving financial stability and independence will put us in a much more equal situation economically than trading buying dinners out.
As to the OP's question, address it with him directly. Don't overspend or try to keep up. You can't impress wealthy people through money. You can impress genuine people by being yourself, living within your means, being successful on your terms, being kind, considerate, and fun. Disparate incomes might cause a ripple now and then, but it's no real obstacle. Relax and enjoy your time together.
I've clearly explained to him that I don't need to work, that I have way more money than him, and that I am much more comfortable paying when we do things since it's trivial sums of money for me, and that the greatest gift he could give me would be to invest his earnings wisely for himself so he achieves some of his own financial independence.
Before he met me he had no retirement account, no financial literacy. I've taught him a lot. He's been open to learning about money. The problem in America is we have almost no social safety net and absolutely no education in financial matters.
Anoxcu's charged response shows how differing people's perceptions around wealth can be. I don't know how much longer I wish to participate in this topic if that is the tone.
So my advice if I could put it more succinctly. If you're dating someone who obviously and truly has way more money than you, offer to pick up the dinner tab from time to time, but don't insist over and over again at one meal to pay if the person of greater means feels more comfortable taking care of it. Don't make a big deal out of it. (I personally find that annoying because it becomes arguing over money, which is really dull.)
For my own situation, I would much rather receive a gracious offer I can respectfully thank and decline and have my BF keep investing his extra money, currently with my help when he asks for it, and eventually on his own when he's up to the task. Him achieving financial stability and independence will put us in a much more equal situation economically than trading buying dinners out.
As to the OP's question, address it with him directly. Don't overspend or try to keep up. You can't impress wealthy people through money. You can impress genuine people by being yourself, living within your means, being successful on your terms, being kind, considerate, and fun. Disparate incomes might cause a ripple now and then, but it's no real obstacle. Relax and enjoy your time together.
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