I can only eat bad stuff and have no idea how to change

[InbetweenDreams]

I'm not really fat, but could already qualify as slightly overweight, I think.
I don't feel well with being chubby, especially around my belly and ass, and especially not on hot summer days... however I am bad in sports, I always feel like people laugh about me when I move in public (a childhood trauma) and I dislike vegetables and fruit because it makes my belly feel weird. I don't want to cook, any attempt resulted in having to throw the stuff away, and I don't like warm food that much anyway.

So what I usually eat is mostly white bread, pizza, meat, cheese, salmon, tuna, ham, chocolate, chips, crackers, burgers, fries, you name it... fast food, more or less. It's no work, no waste of money and time in case something goes wrong with preparation, I can keep it for days and eat it right out of the package, that's how I like it.

I feel extremely uncomfortable with buying fresh food, I have less trust in fresh fruit or vegetables than in packed factory food. I'd rather eat pure chemistry than something from nature, because I don't trust nature.

Well, I know that's not very good. And these days it's even worse, because I have quite some stress going on, so I eat more "nerve food" (chocolate, chips) and because of my sexual problems and being lonely, I try to console myself with cake and ice cream and and and....
it's the only bodily pleasure I can have, because my orgasms aren't very enjoyable.

But of course, the more trash I eat, the further I'm away from being hot, further away from finding a man.

But "healthy food" is so depressing for me that it makes me wanna cry. I really despise the taste of salad or raw vegetables and fruits, it also makes my stomach feel uncomfortable.

Anyway, I have no idea how to help myself, but I feel like I have to act before I'm getting over 100 kilos. I just wanna cry, either way, looking into the mirror or at the thought of eating healthy, but at least with trash food I can have at least some bodily pleasure, which I can't have with eating healthy... :-(

Not everything you listed is bad for you. Meat, cheese, tuna and salmon aren't bad for you... If you can avoid red meats, processed meats (lunch meats, hot dogs, bologna, etc) and go with leaner meats.

Eating healthier doesn't mean eating rabbit food and only rabbit food... Me I pretty much have to start eating rabbit food and not only due to my weight.

Your stomach feels uncomfortable because your body isn't used to the fiber you're taking in. You probably are like me and get a lot of gas from it, that will actually subside over time.

I don't know why you don't trust nature... processed foods are pretty gross if you see how the stuff is made... chemicals...I think it is the context of man made versus natural. Everything is a chemical, the question is does it occur in nature... Yellow 5, Blue Lake 1, and so on aren't natural of origin, which is why a good bit of processed foods are bad.

Not going to advocate juicing, it is a short term fix to lose weight but you can pretty much expect to gain it all right back once you stop juicing (or most any "diet" for that matter) once you go back to your old ways.

So weight management and overall health require a lifestyle change. I suggest doing things in phases. For me, I quit drinking soda...been about 9 months... December makes it a year. The next thing now is to cut out snacks and junk food...and eat leaner. Not going on a GMO / organic rant but here's what I think. It is mostly smoke and mirrors, there are pesticides on everything, fresh, canned, fast food... There's no definitive links between GMO's and cancer or anything else for that matter. Just wash the stuff, not to get pesticides off, but who knows who's had their fingers all over it.

Lifestyle change. You're probably not going to want to hear this, but you need not to go on a diet you need to simply change what you eat as part of a lifestyle change. You're unlikely to be successful trying to go jogging 4-5 times a week and eat oatmeal and salads all the time, you're going to get burned out. Don't think of anything as a diet and don't to cheat days, nothing wrong going to a BBQ with friends and having some burgers and pulled pork every now and then.

As far as vegetables go, have you tried cooking them? You know you can make something like a stir fry with cooked vegetables and meat and seasonings, sauces...makes it much more tasty and still healthy.

The other thing, and this being some advice I need to follow, is how much and how quickly you eat... Do you eat slowly or are you like me and inhale your food. Simply put, just chew your food, I think it is recommended to chew about 25 times each bite...this slows you down and gives your stomach time to signal back that you're full. This will also help with any indigestion, heart burn that you might have. The ultimate thing is that you end up eating less and that's not changing your food.

The other thing to keep an eye on especially if you're suddenly putting on weight without changing what you eat and lifestyle is to check your fasting glucose and A1C.

At any rate I would try to incorporate some vegetables with food you already enjoy, either as a side dish or part of the meal in some manner. I wouldn't suggest a drastic change in what you eat, you're just setting up yourself for failure.

So the questions I have are what veggies have your tried, how did you prepare them, what you didn't like about them... details. This is so I and other can give you ideas on how to prepare them. Since you don't like to cook you can also consider the deli section and look for pre packaged meals that are reasonably healthy.