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Asking this because I know nothing about psychology, hopefully some of you do.
My sister, mother of my 5 years old nephew, is worried about him because he likes to wear women's clothing, asks her to buy dolls and whatnot. And this thing has been going on for a while. She wouldn't have a problem with it, but he's gonna face a lot of problems, and she obviously doesn't want that. He does that all the time with her, but has rarely, if ever, shown these traits when in my company (and he's been with me for quite a while)...maybe he's just in the age when he wants to oppose his mother? She's trying to get in touch with a good psychologist, but in the meantime I'd like to know your opinion. Is there something we can do in order to get the kid to like "manly" stuff? Or at least to understand the origin of his behavior?
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I have three older sisters. When I was a child, I played barbie and dolls, watched girl cartoons, wore dresses (one time or more... it was comfortable to wear dresses too haha). I was never interested in typical boy stuff. Even now I don't really like football and basketball, playing computers games, super hero stuff. However I always believed I'm a boy and was happy with that. I found it difficult to develop real friendships with boys in school because we had different interests. At the same time, I felt more comfortable with my female friends and chat well. It didn't cause me any problem though. People still like and respect me. Also I act like a man now.
He is just 5 and has no idea between boy and girl stuff. Although I don't think he needs to see a psychologist at this moment, it doesn't harm to do that. The most important thing is how your nephew views about himself, boy or girl.
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He's 5 years old. It could be anything. Just a play thing, just to experiment (he is incapable of understanding the social implications of him putting on girls' clothes), just curiosity... He will grow out of it sooner or later. But I do agree, that he should be taught not to do that. Nothing drastic, just enough to curb such behavior.
Kids do all kinds of things that they shouldn't be doing that they need to be taught to give up. This is one of those things.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
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I had a doll when I was younger than that. Carried it everywhere, do I'm told. Don't really remember it, but it must have been the equivalent of a teddy bear--my friend.
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An honest question, and here's my honest answer. I'd much rather a child express his/her authentic self than be taught, manipulated, or coerced to conform to some outdated, false concept of binary gender norms.
Of course, no parent wants their kid to have problems. Which would cause him more problems, being denied what he likes or being allowed to like what he likes? I'm no psychologist, but my sense is a kid is better off being allowed to explore who he is and make a good deal of his own choices, which will of course change over time. Maybe not give the kid an option to wear dresses and carry a doll at school, but let the kid do as he pleases at home. At least then home is a safe place to him.
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[MENTION=20941]Camfer[/MENTION] I'm not saying you're wrong, but isn't it good to conform? It helps you get along better in normal society without getting beat up everyday. I think our families, friends and society pressuring us to be something we're not is good for us sometimes. I think the mother has some good reasons to be concerned no parent wants to see their child be bullied, tormented, humiliated, and ultimately fail at life.
To Mr Anonymous, tell her to have him to do Army stuff, the Army builds men.
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Doc Wrote:To Mr Anonymous, tell her to have him to do Army stuff, the Army builds men.
He's 5 years old!
Army is brainwashing just the same. Going to fight stupid wars for someone else's mistakes, foreign reason, or plain stupidity.
No kid needs to get that fed to him so early on.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
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He might be a transgender. However, it may be just his preferences at that time. I remember when I was a kid, I used to roll my blanket around me and pretend it was a dress sometimes. I did try lipsticks of my mom and try wearing her high heels . But nah, I'm not a transgender.
I think sometimes kids around that age just want to discover their surroundings. It's not usually a sign of being transgender. Nonetheless, he could be bullied or picked on because of this thing, so I think his mother should pay more attention to him and subtlely let him be comfortable to tell her everything, including his problems, friendships, etc.
Hope you find my advice helpful  .
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meridannight Wrote:He's 5 years old!
Army is brainwashing just the same. Going to fight stupid wars for someone else's mistakes, foreign reason, or plain stupidity.
No kid needs to get that fed to him so early on.
The Army doesnt brainwash people, a soldier can think and feel too, we're human beings, I saved other people lives in the Army as a medic, so you can go fuck yourself chief. I meant it as a joke
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Camfer Wrote:I'd much rather a child express his/her authentic self than be taught, manipulated, or coerced to conform to some outdated, false concept of binary gender norms.
Of course, no parent wants their kid to have problems. Which would cause him more problems, being denied what he likes or being allowed to like what he likes? I'm no psychologist, but my sense is a kid is better off being allowed to explore who he is and make a good deal of his own choices, which will of course change over time. Maybe not give the kid an option to wear dresses and carry a doll at school, but let the kid do as he pleases at home. At least then home is a safe place to him.
^^ THIS 100%
Why would you want to fuck up the kid's head with a bunch of "shouldn't" and "wrongs" that there's actually nothing wrong with?
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