Hopelessly Devoted. (It's long but I could really use some advice.)

[meridannight]

Honestly, I don't think you should count on a romantic relationship with Tom. If he really wanted to resume that kind of relationship, he would have done so already.

This tends to be my perspective in such situations as well. If a man wants to be with you, he usually makes a case for it. Not mutter some vague excuses that don't make sense anyway.

I don't know what your friend's problem is, honestly. He knows you want to be with him, but all he can offer is ''friendship''. Why? Did you ask him what's holding him back? That is the most important information here, and tell me you didn't forget to ask him?

It's not healthy anyway, to be stuck on one guy when he can't even explain why he can't even give it a try with you. I understand that you connected, and that is a powerful motivator to hold out for him. But you can't force him to be with you, and there are other men out there. Although they won't feel the same at first, there are other amazing men out there who can make you feel just as good, and reciprocate your desire.

So -- either ask him point blank why it is he can't even try, or just let it go. I would want an explanation, if I were you.