09-27-2016, 08:39 PM
Ok. So I can put in my perspective from the victim side of things. Early in Gideon and my relationship, I was attacked and raped by my ex. And once [MENTION=20938]Gideon[/MENTION] wakes up, I'll ask if he'd be willing to come in and give his perspective as my partner through the ordeal.
On the opposite side of the coin from your situation, IMO... Don't do it.
Your partner's world is currently turned upside down. He's on unsteady ground and probably feels that his self worth is in question. He needs reassurance and stability. Sleeping with others is not going to provide these things, but has huge potential to further undermine what's already been turned unstable.
I understand why he's offered. I did the same thing to Gideon. But, he needs to be assured (over and over again) that all you want is him, and that he's worth the wait. Not given proof of his doubts about his worth and importance to you.
In retrospect, had Gideon took me up on the offer, it would have hurt me in a place inside that very well could have been permanent in a way the rape never did. Better to have lived through the guilt and used it as a motivation to work my way back to a healthy place, with Gideon's help every step of the way.
On the opposite side of the coin from your situation, IMO... Don't do it.
Your partner's world is currently turned upside down. He's on unsteady ground and probably feels that his self worth is in question. He needs reassurance and stability. Sleeping with others is not going to provide these things, but has huge potential to further undermine what's already been turned unstable.
I understand why he's offered. I did the same thing to Gideon. But, he needs to be assured (over and over again) that all you want is him, and that he's worth the wait. Not given proof of his doubts about his worth and importance to you.
In retrospect, had Gideon took me up on the offer, it would have hurt me in a place inside that very well could have been permanent in a way the rape never did. Better to have lived through the guilt and used it as a motivation to work my way back to a healthy place, with Gideon's help every step of the way.
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