Cheating or frustration

[Alvin]

Hi, Ajinpa.

May I ask what "other kinds of sex" you refer to?
If it's about switching roles in bed, your concern could be broken down into 6 parts:

1. You wanna explore how it feels likes to bottom.
2. You want your partner to top.
3. You think he doesn't want to top. (As opposed to, he doesn't, as a matter of fact, want to top.)
4. You think that he might leave you because of your request.
5. You don't want open relationship.
6. You've been thinking about cheating on him.

Here is the tricky part. There is no "he" as a subject. In other words, you have no idea what is really on his mind about this issue except for your own assumption. The 4th statement is what bothers and hinders you from asking for it.

The 4th and the 6th are contradictory. If you don't wan to lose him, why would you think of cheating on him? Once he finds out, he will leave you, won't he?
The interrelation between the 5th and the 6th is a bit confusing to me. An open relationship is at least an honest one with discussion, in which both, to their knowledge, are content with having more than one sexual partner. Cheating, however, is not even an honest one with no discussion, which is even worse.

Indeed, you may bear the risk of losing him if he finds "other kinds of sex" extremely unacceptable. Yet, I wonder if one will leave his partner of 9 years simply because his partner wants to have "other kinds of sex with him exclusively."

All comments above are just for reference.