Straight to Gay

[portugal_the_man]

Eh, you can't turn a straight man gay. Believe me, I've spent most of my life trying to do just that. The best you can hope for is a 3-beer queer. When liquored up, he may be open to more things than when sober.

I knew a guy that was straight, but he always acted weird when he was drunk, and he always seemed drunk. I would hint all the time that he was 9-kinds of fine, and he'd play along sometimes. One time he got up on a table and lifted up his shirt for me. Lord was he fine. I have to remember to thank his parents for creating him.

The one thing you have to look out for is that a lot of straight guys will 'tolerate' gay innuendo up to a certain point, and then they get offended and back off. You just have to know where that line is and straddle it, straddle it good.