11-06-2010, 08:04 PM
It is quite possible that your friend does love you, but in a friendly way. He knows that you seeing him scantily clad pleases you, since you've told him he was hot... He may be a little bit of an exhibitionist and surely a little bit of a flirt, but maybe he doesn't realise (not being gay) what this is actually provoking in you. Maybe his pregnant girlfriend isn't giving him that much attention at the moment, on account of the pregnancy, and so he's enjoying yours.
I don't think we can assume from any of this that this is more than a very close friendship. Maybe he is the kind to dish out love easily (by love, I mean respect of the other person and liking them enough to feel comfortable being with them, even seeking their company.) Some men (people) are like that.
The other possibility is that he is in fact bisexual and likes to get attention from both sides, but it's just easier, socially, to be with a girlfriend, especially if you are the father of not one, but nearly two kids. (I'm sure Marshlander can relate to this.)
I also think that it would be normal for you to fall in love with a man whom you not only find hot, but you also find good company. So could it be that you are in such a state of wanting companionship that you are ready to settle your choice on someone who is not free? Is it your way of not having to deal with finding a suitable partner (in terms of availability and sexual orientation)?
You say you are out to everyone, so ought to be comfortable meeting new potential partners. By focusing on him, you are really depriving yourself of good opportunities of meeting Mr Right (or a Mr Right). It will, if this continues that way, be a bit like stalking him, which he might find amusing at first but will get tired of in the end (I'm also talking about how to manage the "jealousy" bit).
If this friend is just a good friend (in his book), then he ought to be happy for you to find someone with whom you can have a full romantic, sexual and social relationship. Would you ask him if that's how he feels? Maybe he only feels towards you a brotherly feeling, but not enough to cross boundaries. If he does feel he could cross boundaries, then maybe you can both explore that, but make sure he would feel and especially you would feel comfortable with that, knowing what the odds are that he'll never be yours.
Last possible case, he's gay and hasn't come to terms with it yet... In this day and age, though, it's less likely than when I was young in the 1980s.
Good luck with handling all those emotions, and
to GaySpeak...
((((((hugs)))))))
PA
I don't think we can assume from any of this that this is more than a very close friendship. Maybe he is the kind to dish out love easily (by love, I mean respect of the other person and liking them enough to feel comfortable being with them, even seeking their company.) Some men (people) are like that.
The other possibility is that he is in fact bisexual and likes to get attention from both sides, but it's just easier, socially, to be with a girlfriend, especially if you are the father of not one, but nearly two kids. (I'm sure Marshlander can relate to this.)
I also think that it would be normal for you to fall in love with a man whom you not only find hot, but you also find good company. So could it be that you are in such a state of wanting companionship that you are ready to settle your choice on someone who is not free? Is it your way of not having to deal with finding a suitable partner (in terms of availability and sexual orientation)?
You say you are out to everyone, so ought to be comfortable meeting new potential partners. By focusing on him, you are really depriving yourself of good opportunities of meeting Mr Right (or a Mr Right). It will, if this continues that way, be a bit like stalking him, which he might find amusing at first but will get tired of in the end (I'm also talking about how to manage the "jealousy" bit).
If this friend is just a good friend (in his book), then he ought to be happy for you to find someone with whom you can have a full romantic, sexual and social relationship. Would you ask him if that's how he feels? Maybe he only feels towards you a brotherly feeling, but not enough to cross boundaries. If he does feel he could cross boundaries, then maybe you can both explore that, but make sure he would feel and especially you would feel comfortable with that, knowing what the odds are that he'll never be yours.
Last possible case, he's gay and hasn't come to terms with it yet... In this day and age, though, it's less likely than when I was young in the 1980s.
Good luck with handling all those emotions, and
to GaySpeak...((((((hugs)))))))
PA
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