11-21-2010, 03:58 AM
Ben, the fact that you acknowledge being fed up with the loneliness seems to suggest that you are ready to do something about it. I second Sil's suggetion to discuss the suicidal thoughts with your physician though. It may help you to deal with the depression on a day to day basis. After what you managed to say to your brother the other day, there is reason to think that you've got the strength and energy in you to fight the depression back and to start looking for that special other soul.