11-22-2010, 03:51 PM
Hey Boston,
really feeling for you here mate, that sounds like an awful situation and I'm sorry
I often get images of what it'd be like to split up, and it's never easy when you care for someone so much.
I'm a much more volatile and sensitive person, and if I was in your shoes I probably would've been pretty mad after the effort you made to help him sort himself out. But people have ways of putting spells over us and sometimes you're so close you don't even see the little things that you know are gonna cause problems. I agree with Fenris, I think now would be the point that you stop making his problems your problems. If this is the way he wants to do things then you don't owe him that anymore. It sounds a lot like you're being a security blanket for him while he works through all of his fantasies and ideas, and you deserve more than that.
Sadly, I don't think being friends works either I've tried it before but there's always way too much sentiment and memory for it to really go back to being something platonic. When you know so much about a person and you have to go back to knowing just a little; I don't think it works unless as an acquaintance "hi, you okay? cool, take it easy."
I've met one of my boyfriend's exes and he was a real jerk, just no respect for himself and likes to put down on other people. I understand with that how people change, I really couldn't imagine him being with someone like that but it does happen. We're very complex creatures.
I know you want him to come back so bad, but I think it's definitely time for you two to stop living through each other; you both have your own priorities and issues at the moment, and until he settles down I think it may be just more and more of the same. I'm hoping you can find your way through it in time and be 'just friends' so you can stay close, but it really sounds like there may be someone out there who you won't have to feel responsible for, and who won't make you wonder what the hell is going on. All the best mate
really feeling for you here mate, that sounds like an awful situation and I'm sorry
I often get images of what it'd be like to split up, and it's never easy when you care for someone so much. I'm a much more volatile and sensitive person, and if I was in your shoes I probably would've been pretty mad after the effort you made to help him sort himself out. But people have ways of putting spells over us and sometimes you're so close you don't even see the little things that you know are gonna cause problems. I agree with Fenris, I think now would be the point that you stop making his problems your problems. If this is the way he wants to do things then you don't owe him that anymore. It sounds a lot like you're being a security blanket for him while he works through all of his fantasies and ideas, and you deserve more than that.
Sadly, I don't think being friends works either
I've tried it before but there's always way too much sentiment and memory for it to really go back to being something platonic. When you know so much about a person and you have to go back to knowing just a little; I don't think it works unless as an acquaintance "hi, you okay? cool, take it easy." I've met one of my boyfriend's exes and he was a real jerk, just no respect for himself and likes to put down on other people. I understand with that how people change, I really couldn't imagine him being with someone like that but it does happen. We're very complex creatures.
I know you want him to come back so bad, but I think it's definitely time for you two to stop living through each other; you both have your own priorities and issues at the moment, and until he settles down I think it may be just more and more of the same. I'm hoping you can find your way through it in time and be 'just friends' so you can stay close, but it really sounds like there may be someone out there who you won't have to feel responsible for, and who won't make you wonder what the hell is going on. All the best mate
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