Was I too hard on him?

[Synaesthete]

Good question, to which I don't have a good answer. I suppose it's because I feel that a gay man should know better than make assumptions about other peoples sexuality. I realise I am holding him to a higher standard than I would hold a straight man which isn't really fair.

I've felt the same as you, and I've asked myself "why it bothers me" - because I believe if I am bothered by something someone says, the reason why is inside me. Perhaps it could be that, when someone makes an incorrect assumption about you, it could feel like they are "getting you wrong" / "invalidating you" / "missing out something that is important about you" and because we all (I am sure) have some degree of self doubt, we feel we must MAKE OURSELVES KNOWN to others... or to ourselves?