01-02-2011, 07:15 PM
I think this is the norm really...I was in the position to talk to thousands of people about their relationships as I worked in a gay bar for many years and I heard this pretty much uniformly though there were exceptions and those were what interested me the most. I came to the conclusion that too many people are bound by the image of love...portrayals in the media (fiction) and dogma courtesy of tradition and religion...we are convinced there is a certain way we are supposed to feel and act and also convinced sex=love and love=sex....so I came to a personal conclusion and have employed it pretty much since then with success...
...find out where your partner wants (or better yet "needs") to go mentally. Our private sexual thoughts and desires are often accompanied by feelings of shame and guilt and we hide them from each other and from ourselves because we judge ourselves or all too often measure ourselves against works of fiction and antiquated models. If you can find a way to tap into that and free your own or your partners fantasies that can help tremendously.
...find out where your partner wants (or better yet "needs") to go mentally. Our private sexual thoughts and desires are often accompanied by feelings of shame and guilt and we hide them from each other and from ourselves because we judge ourselves or all too often measure ourselves against works of fiction and antiquated models. If you can find a way to tap into that and free your own or your partners fantasies that can help tremendously.
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