01-16-2011, 06:18 PM
Hi untraceable,
It sounds like you've done everything you can to figure out where your bf stands on the matter. However, by giving him the cold shoulder you are only playing games; You want to be intimate with him but you are sending messages that are emotionally distancing. Instead, it's time for you to make some big decisions that only you can make. There is nothing wrong with needing sex to be an important part of a relationship at this point in your life. While you love your bf, you need to decide if you are getting everything you need from the relationship. You also need to factor in how you would feel without your bf in your life (Remember that it's often only seems greener on the other side). You should take some time to think about these questions in order to be comfortable with expressing your needs. Then, it's really time to have an open and honest conversation with your bf. Don't make this an issue of why he does not want to have sex. Instead, pose this as a problem about not having your own needs met by the relationship. Also, this should not take the form of an ultimatum. Rather this should be a conversation about making compromises between the both of you. Indeed, if you look around for the reasons that couples often fight, you will see that how often couples have sex is on the top of the list. Will he understand that this is an important issue for you? Will I be comfortable in the decisions we make together? These are the questions that should be going through your mind during the conversation. If either one of you cannot compromise or stick to thee terms of your agreement, then it's really time for you to think about leaving the relationship. Best of luck.
It sounds like you've done everything you can to figure out where your bf stands on the matter. However, by giving him the cold shoulder you are only playing games; You want to be intimate with him but you are sending messages that are emotionally distancing. Instead, it's time for you to make some big decisions that only you can make. There is nothing wrong with needing sex to be an important part of a relationship at this point in your life. While you love your bf, you need to decide if you are getting everything you need from the relationship. You also need to factor in how you would feel without your bf in your life (Remember that it's often only seems greener on the other side). You should take some time to think about these questions in order to be comfortable with expressing your needs. Then, it's really time to have an open and honest conversation with your bf. Don't make this an issue of why he does not want to have sex. Instead, pose this as a problem about not having your own needs met by the relationship. Also, this should not take the form of an ultimatum. Rather this should be a conversation about making compromises between the both of you. Indeed, if you look around for the reasons that couples often fight, you will see that how often couples have sex is on the top of the list. Will he understand that this is an important issue for you? Will I be comfortable in the decisions we make together? These are the questions that should be going through your mind during the conversation. If either one of you cannot compromise or stick to thee terms of your agreement, then it's really time for you to think about leaving the relationship. Best of luck.
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