Relationship (and sex) with a transman

[Inchante]

I hope I can get an honest opinion here. I hear that the gay community and transgendered community tend to despise each other due to their different understanding of sexual orientation and gender identity.

If you meet a good-hearted, attractive, manly man, do you think you can pursue a relationship with him provided that he is completely honest to you about his genetic sex from the very beginning?

I know that many men can get over the fact that their potential partners used to be women, but what about after that? Do you think you can get laid with your man knowing that he physically doesn't have what biological men do?

Well, I'm not sure what you mean by "don't have what biological men do"? There is Phalloplasty, though they cannot make a fully functional penis.

I'm also not sure what you mean by "different understanding of sexual orientation and gender identity"? They really do not seem to conflict at all. One is attracted to men or one is attracted to women or one is attracted to both. One feel that they are essentially a man, one feels one is essentially a woman, or one feels that they are essentially intersex. What one understands their sex to be really does not seem to effect what sex they are attracted to.

Anyway, to answer your question, I have never had a problem maintaining a friendship with a transsexual person. I have found some of my transsexual (f to m) friends attractive. So, if I ever had occasion to date a trans man, I would probably date him. Certainly, there would be things to consider and to work through, but I don't see any reason why there should be a permanent or insurmountable issue with dating a gay or bisexual trans man.