Relationship (and sex) with a transman

[mrk2010]

I hope I can get an honest opinion here. I hear that the gay community and transgendered community tend to despise each other due to their different understanding of sexual orientation and gender identity.

If you meet a good-hearted, attractive, manly man, do you think you can pursue a relationship with him provided that he is completely honest to you about his genetic sex from the very beginning?

I know that many men can get over the fact that their potential partners used to be women, but what about after that? Do you think you can get laid with your man knowing that he physically doesn't have what biological men do?

I wouldn't say the gay community and the transgendered community despise each other but as of late I have picked up a bit of indifference. I had lunch one day with a gay friend and we had quite a conversation about transgendered individuals and how they are part of the gay community. He basically said well being transgendered isn't to do with orientation It's about your gender identity, therefore if you have a straight transgendered individual they are straight and same for gay, therefore the gay individual is part of the LGBT. It was quite a debate we were having and I think it ended up in him saying "I'm not bothered about transgendered people, its a different kettle of fish to being gay" hence the indifference stated previously.

Personally I don't think I would pursue a relationship with a transgendered man. Even more so if he did not tell me he was once a woman, but I still would not pursue a relationship, I could Still have them as a friend though. Although I would respect their right to live as male in terms of pursue a relationship I would not be able to see them as male physically as harsh as it sounds, plus technically they still would be genetically female. I don't know it's such a hard thing to say. But in my case I would have to say no. I've tried to be careful and write this as sensitively as I can, I hope this is a balanced view to think.