Things I hate that my dad says

[Bowyn Aerrow]

My mother would call me a son of a bitch - a lot, often, nearly daily. Did that for years and years and years - up to the point where my balls dropped and I asked in a quiet, serious tone: "If I am a son of a bitch, what does that make you?"

She stopped calling me a son of a bitch from that point forward - mostly. She moved on to Bastard... Which again I view as a lack of thinking on her part. I figured if I had to correct her and point out the obvious that we would spend decades with me correcting her.

Lack of thinking. That is what it boils down to. I bet your father isn't even aware of what is spewing out of his mouth. He just says it as a gut reaction - most likely parroting what he heard from his own father or someone.

You can try to correct him, retrain him, whatever. You will not succeed totally. If he wants to change he will change himself, I doubt he wants to change.

I say hold your tongue until you are out on your own, then you can share your thoughts on his thoughtless words without too much fear of reprisal.

Sometimes it is best to be the 'better man' and just hold your tongue and allow then to be stupid. Remember, his words are NOT a reflection on lesbians or on you, they are a reflection of him and his mind set.

The bible tells us to respect our parents, this sometimes means we have to put a lot of distance between us and our parents. It is the respectful thing to do. further, we are commanded to love our neighbor - sometimes a nice tall wall between properties is the best show of love one can have.

See how these things work?

Ultimately you will be ok. Sure its hurtful, but you have to keep in mind he most likely doesn't understand or think that his words hurt anyone. Bigotry is blind to empathy.