Straight wife seeking advice

[Rainbowmum]

Hi and welcome,
First let me say , you are not intruding here.

There is not much more I can say that has not already be said.
I am a fairly direct person so I will just come out with it.( no insult or insensitivity meant.)

You said you felt horrible having to spy on him, my question is are you really willing to change into this suspicious person that trust's no one?
This kind of behavior will spill over into your day to day activities and to your children.

I am also concerned with your physical as well as mental health.
You have three young ones that you are responsible for.

As they grow and develop in the environment that you have provided for them , they learn so much from your behavior , they can pick up on so many things that you are not aware of.
Including how to treat their partner in a union be it marriage or what ever.
The building blocks you provide will be the children learned behavior.

Don't be someones doormat , do not avoid confrontation for the sake of denial.
Here for you , keep us posted.