Should I give up on this? Dealing with mixed signals

[Bowyn Aerrow]

My crystal ball is broken.



So I do not know how you figure we are going to know what is going on inside his head.

Hell you didn't even give me a name, nor a lock of hair or drop of blood to try the old wax doll trick (aka VooDoo Doll/Poppet) and see if I can divine his intent that way.

Even my Magic 8 ball is confused without pertinent data to draw from, such as his age, location, name.... It keeps on saying "Concentrate and ask again."

Time and time and time again people come here with basically the same issue. They want to know something about a person and expect us to use a Ouija board, a crystal ball, tarot cards, or some other arcane dark instrument to do divination to find out what is in this person's heart and mind.

There is no way at all that any of us knows for 100% certain what is going on here. None of us knows what he is thinking, feeling, etc. The only person on earth that can know with that high of accuracy is him.

Communication is the key to any and all relationships. A relationship is not just a love interest. Meaning you do not have to be a lover to someone to be in a relationship with them. That thing you and your boss have together - its a relationship - a working relationship. That thing your BFF and you has, its a relationship a friend relationship.

You boss cannot expect you to read his mind to know that that report has a deadline - he tells you. You BFF doesn't expect you to read his mind to know to meet for cocktails after work on Thursday this week. He tells you.

You cannot read the mind of this young love interest, you are going to have to ask him.

At this time I think you are both are relying on mind reading tricks in order to figure out what is on the mind of each other. Thus he cuddles momentarily, has a second thought and pulls back. After all he is trying to read your mind instead of asking 'Can we cuddle?'

Instead of asking him why he doesn't text you, you are asking virtual strangers, folk that most likely have never met him and even if we did, we most likely can't tell you what he is thinking/feeling.

Ask him.

Yes you set yourself up for rejection. Rejection is as common as grains of sand on a beach. It happens, get used to it.

Yet on the other hand he might (I can't say for certain, I refer to my broken crystal ball) but he might actually want more than just sex from you too.

[Nick9]

My crystal ball is broken.

Seriously Bowyn Aerrow, you've been putting off having it repaired for too long :biggrin:

Time and time and time again people come here with basically the same issue. They want to know something about a person and expect us to use a Ouija board, a crystal ball, tarot cards, or some other arcane dark instrument to do divination to find out what is in this person's heart and mind.

Hmm, maybe they come for our experiences and distant/different points of view?

Ask him.

Is that this simple? I am not sure. Sometimes just asking and saying things loud can cause the other person pulling away. You indicate that you want a clear answer by asking a clear question. If the other person is not ready for making the decision, the easiest is to withdraw.
Sometimes having a different point of view and suggestions can make you look better for any signs the other person is giving. You can have your answers without asking.

I don't know it is true in this case, but I don't think asking those questions here is silly or immature mile:

[PennState1122]

Hey Bowyn Aerrow, if you think my question is stupid you arn't obligated to post a response. Just as Nick9 suggested, my reason for posting the question was that I wanted an outside opinion based on others experiences. The reason I have not yet just come out and asked him if he's interested in going on a real date is that we hooked up on what I assumed was a no strings attached basis (criagslist) and I thought it would be unfair (and still kind of do) to ask for more than a hook up. Hence, I was trying to read his mixed signals to see if I had the green light to make a move which is why I posted the question. So if you don't mind, why don't you just keep to yourself if you don't have something constructive to say.

[Gizzie]

Just see whee it goes. two dates is a little early to determine for me...