I'm freaking out at my own brain im not gay

[SovietArcher]

do i have to be this way
i'm a guy btw weaing a super long sleeved purple shirt and jeans i styled my hair in a way that its never been styled in before, and im so easily huggable right now
room mate says sup i say, her friend gives me a 3 second glance, i go in kitchen he shoots me another 3 second glance no more then 3 seconds; and i picked up on it
i could just be delusional though but it felt good to be checked out

i'm not part of an evil satanic system T.T

i spent the last three days in a gay chat room, and i don't know why
getting drunk and talking for 6 to 10 hours per day
daydream 2 days ago i wake up thinking about bukakke i was the victim in completely hard
yesterday i wake up and dream about a hunky native guy with a pigtail imagining touches his muscles cuddling and making him pizza and nomming with him on it
and this morning i wake up with the most feminine mindset ever
something is wrong with me T.T
its not okay for a communist like me to be gay it goes against everything a man should be
(even if i am gay and come to terms with this i'll still be a communist, you say its bad yet capitalists funded stalin and mao, the two prime examples of dictators not communists, lenin freed the russians from the tsar and was a good man, who gave the land back to the hands that work it)
in any case a respectable man in any society should not be gay i'm the victim of a bourgeoisie capitalist system

[Zet]

In due respect, Vänsterpartiet, our most left party in the Riksdag (Parliament) and its also our most feministic party as well (Its used to be called the Communist party) so I don't see how it would not work out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left_Party_(Sweden)

If you are gay, then you are it, you can't change it believe me I've tried. But as most parents would say that its just a phase, you could just be temporary attracted to men, but the chance of you being gay permanently is bigger, or you could just be leaning more to be BI. But don't be to quick to judge, try to fit all the pieces of the puzzle to see if you truly are gay. I never thought I would be, but I never really though about girls sexually. I though first I was Asexual but I always got a stiff when watching porn for a strange reason, but little did I knew that I was actually checking out the man behind the woman then the woman it self. Its not just a sudden realization, its something that you notice for a longer period of time. First of, what are your thoughts about women?

No one is judging you here except your self You might just like to be in the center of attention, or even to be dominated over. Fantasies are not realities, but as a member has though me that dreams aren't really what they seem to be, although I have no idea if daydreams counts as you are more aware and in control.

[Nick9]

You are NOT gay. Do you want me to rubber-stamp your receipt? I will, if it makes you feel better If I dream about a murder, does it make me a murderer? No. You are not gay, stop freaking out.

About the communists. No, I assure you, there are no gay people among the communists. What is even more interesting, there are no gay people in countries that are ran by the communist party.
It's actually a very interesting phenomena, but there has been so much research and it has been always confirmed, that I tend to believe it.
You have a problem though, you live in Canada, that's not a communist country. But I would say that as far as you are a communist, you are safe. Good choice!

Do you know where my country is? Do you know anything about the European history? Or at least about history of communism in Europe? About Soviet sphere of influence? I am sure you do, it's an elementary knowledge for any communist.

That's good, I don't need to explain, what was going on in my country during WWII, after the war, in the fifties, at the end of the sixties (I really hope you can appreciate especially the sixties. Although... the fifties... oh the fifties were a FEAST for the communists, you should definitely read it again, it may turn you on better than bukakke.)

I tend to believe that some ideas of Marx are not bad, he seemed to be a wise man. However, I have a hard time with the fact that over the last 100 years there was not a single country where communism really worked. Well, you are a man, you are not a gay, and you are a communist. You will solve this mystery, I am sure.

[Zet]

When I think about it, I think he might be thinking of Marxism :p

[SovietArcher]

You are NOT gay. Do you want me to rubber-stamp your receipt? I will, if it makes you feel better If I dream about a murder, does it make me a murderer? No. You are not gay, stop freaking out.

About the communists. No, I assure you, there are no gay people among the communists. What is even more interesting, there are no gay people in countries that are ran by the communist party.
It's actually a very interesting phenomena, but there has been so much research and it has been always confirmed, that I tend to believe it.
You have a problem though, you live in Canada, that's not a communist country. But I would say that as far as you are a communist, you are safe. Good choice!

Do you know where my country is? Do you know anything about the European history? Or at least about history of communism in Europe? About Soviet sphere of influence? I am sure you do, it's an elementary knowledge for any communist.

That's good, I don't need to explain, what was going on in my country during WWII, after the war, in the fifties, at the end of the sixties (I really hope you can appreciate especially the sixties. Although... the fifties... oh the fifties were a FEAST for the communists, you should definitely read it again, it may turn you on better than bukakke.)

I tend to believe that some ideas of Marx are not bad, he seemed to be a wise man. However, I have a hard time with the fact that over the last 100 years there was not a single country where communism really worked. Well, you are a man, you are not a gay, and you are a communist. You will solve this mystery, I am sure.

actually depending on the time and place some communist countries were passive towards gay people it didn't really matter, at one point gay people were offered immediate divorce to their wives, it was criminalised after stalin came into power
most communist parties nowadays realise that being gay is something you are born as
and they are pro gay; it just doesn't fit the norm i guess *sigh*

[Nick9]

Seriously, you are talking differently in every post. I give up.

[DerJack]

do i have to be this way
i'm a guy btw weaing a super long sleeved purple shirt and jeans i styled my hair in a way that its never been styled in before, and im so easily huggable right now
room mate says sup i say, her friend gives me a 3 second glance, i go in kitchen he shoots me another 3 second glance no more then 3 seconds; and i picked up on it
i could just be delusional though but it felt good to be checked out

i'm not part of an evil satanic system T.T

i spent the last three days in a gay chat room, and i don't know why
getting drunk and talking for 6 to 10 hours per day
daydream 2 days ago i wake up thinking about bukakke i was the victim in completely hard
yesterday i wake up and dream about a hunky native guy with a pigtail imagining touches his muscles cuddling and making him pizza and nomming with him on it
and this morning i wake up with the most feminine mindset ever
something is wrong with me T.T
its not okay for a communist like me to be gay it goes against everything a man should be
(even if i am gay and come to terms with this i'll still be a communist, you say its bad yet capitalists funded stalin and mao, the two prime examples of dictators not communists, lenin freed the russians from the tsar and was a good man, who gave the land back to the hands that work it)
in any case a respectable man in any society should not be gay i'm the victim of a bourgeoisie capitalist system

I'm confused.... and it sounds like you are too. It sounds to me like your psyche may not be convinced that you're not gay..... which believe it or not.... could mean that you area , as well not convinced.....

Furthermore.... are your political convictions really worth gambling your happiness over? Do your political beliefs really strictly assure that being who you are is completely unacceptable?

In the end, telling yourself you're not gay and claiming that it is an unacceptable lifestyle for yourself, is not goigng to make you any less gay (I say this completely without presumption that you are... only you can know for certain)

[zeon]

hello there,
Put your communist stuff aside because regardless what you think you are if your body is developing into a gay body then u can tell the comms to go bollocks to be honest because why should you be unhappy to please those who think they know you??? I weouldnt do it to be honest if people dont like me being gay i aint bothered about their opinionis but they can tell someone who is...
I think that many many socities have fluenced the way people live and to be honest your life is about you not others so dont fight what appears to be right or you could waste so much time doing so you find it hard to just live life as ment to be

[Pix]

About the communists. No, I assure you, there are no gay people among the communists. What is even more interesting, there are no gay people in countries that are ran by the communist party.
It's actually a very interesting phenomena, but there has been so much research and it has been always confirmed, that I tend to believe it.

I'm not sure if you're being serious or just using dry sarcasm, but just in case you're serious then I'd like to point out that gays are a matter of public record in such countries as they were locked up and/or treated for it. Well, not countries like China and Vietnam which seem a lot more tolerant about gays (at least these days). I understand that gays in Russia (both today and under the Communists) often married someone of the opposite sex (preferably also gay) and then held affairs with other gays (again preferably hidden in a marriage of convenience to escape government scrutiny).

And I can't tell if Soviet Archer is serious or not, but in either case I'm not going where he wants to take us.

But obviously not all Communists have a problem with gays. Those calling themselves "small-C communists" (that is with very liberal attitudes, and not so authoritarian save in the economic sphere) are especially gay friendly.

But many of the Communist countries of the 20th century came from mostly rural countries with a deeply conservative folk (and especially sick bastards like Stalin had to go on a "more authoritarian than thou" kick and seemed to go antigay just to not be outdone by the Nazis), which in itself is interesting in that it conflicts with what Marx predicted. If Marx was right about the forces of history then the industrial west would've been the Commies instead of the rural nations that became Commie first and then industrialized.

[Nick9]

I'm not sure if you're being serious or just using dry sarcasm,

Hi Pix, I am sorry for the confusion. No, I wasn't being serious. I doubt that the OP was.
And I find it a bit difficult to swallow that someone who lives in Canada is trying to tell me how great communism is. Communistic country are usually not free. Mine definitely wasn't. I highly doubt that OP would be willing to swap his place with mine or my family 20, 30, 40 years ago.

So, no. I wasn't being serious