Public display of affection and danger?

[Gaydude3]

Sometimes I'm scared to be affectionate with a partner in public for fear someone will see and come attack us. I hate living in fear all the time. Other times I just feel embarrassed or disgusted if people see I'm gay. That's some residual internalized homophobia id like to work out.

[East]

Sometimes I'm scared to be affectionate with a partner in public for fear someone will see and come attack us. I hate living in fear all the time. Other times I just feel embarrassed or disgusted if people see I'm gay. That's some residual internalized homophobia id like to work out.

We all have a degree of internalized homophobia...acknowledging it....putting it on the table and examining it.... is the best course of action if you want to diminish it. You can't address a problem if you do not acknowledge that it exists.

As for the PDA...your fear is real so you have to weigh the benefit versus the cost. It isnt easy ...and there are no easy answers.

[Sylph]

We all have a degree of internalized homophobia...acknowledging it....putting it on the table and examining it.... is the best course of action if you want to diminish it. You can't address a problem if you do not acknowledge that it exists.

As for the PDA...your fear is real so you have to weigh the benefit versus the cost. It isnt easy ...and there are no easy answers.

And to add.

As a person who is outwardly feminine and in a country where being gay is a huge no-no (well, it's actually getting better as time goes on), you shouldn't feel ashamed. Self-internalized Homophobia or not, you should never feel ashamed of yourself, because you're the only you you've got, so love it.

I get called names all the time and weird looks and w/e, but I never once feel ashamed of myself, because that's not what life is about. Life is literally about living and more importantly, living the way that makes you happy.

Perhaps you should be more discreet and take what East said into account about the PDA, but you shouldn't feel ashamed, no matter your choice.

A black man can walk down the street now without being called a N word or assaulted because of his colour and women can walk the streets in their Armani suits and not be called Lesbians or other discriminatory words. It's not the 1800's-1900's, times have changed.

It's like being a victim, actually it is, but as with all victims, you have to remember that it's not your fault. Don't put shame on yourself, especially for things outside of your control, put the shame on the victimizer.

Whatever choices you make, will ultimately lay the foundation for the life you want to live.-Alex, Noah's Arc.

Hope all goes well for you

[Vigilias]

A pitty that we still live in a time when a display of affection can provoke an act of violence and that such displays of affection can often feel like an act of defiance.

[dwatt]

Take up martial arts. U don't worry about being attacked
So much when defense is thought through. Some folks will say violence solves nothing but screw that as long as your protecting yourself or ppl you care for

[LateBloomer]

Take up martial arts. U don't worry about being attacked
So much when defense is thought through. Some folks will say violence solves nothing but screw that as long as your protecting yourself or ppl you care for

Back in the early 90s I used to live in a neighborhood with a pretty good sized gay population.

There was one guy I passed on the sidewalk a few times. He was good looking, short, built and always looked pissed off...

He always wore a t-shirt that read: "Dead bigots don't bash fags."



I don't know. Back then I thought it was way over the top, but I guess I saw his point.

[fredv3b]

Just grab his hand and stride on.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Gaydude3]

A pitty that we still live in a time when a display of affection can provoke an act of violence and that such displays of affection can often feel like an act of defiance.

Society is more comfortable with men holding guns than men holding hands.

I question why I have this inner shame though. I am out and active for gay rights but yet feel somewhat embarrassed or wrong.

[LateBloomer]

Society is more comfortable with men holding guns than men holding hands.

I question why I have this inner shame though. I am out and active for gay rights but yet feel somewhat embarrassed or wrong.

I don't think EVERYTHING needs to be a political statement.

You know, maybe you're just a modest guy. Maybe even if you were straight you'd be uncomfortable with public displays of affection.

I've been out with both men and women and I can tell you personally I like to keep things "tasteful". Nothing looks more ridiculous to me than a couple who can't control themselves...

I realize we're talking about holding hands and not tearing clothes off our partner, I'm just saying, maybe you just have a shy nature.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

You don't have to wear a badge.

[pellaz]

gay or straight PDA while in a rough environment is not always a good move. Said places are more than optional when your over your head, you should not be there period.