I posted on here awhile ago about being confused on the issue of my sexual orientation. Actually, I still am confused on the subject. I'll become spontaneously aroused by attractive women walking around, but then there are sometimes where I can't stop thinking about some guys I've seen being the epitome of masculine perfection and how much I'm attracted to them, and then my attraction to women seems to fade away.
To be honest, I'm still a virgin, so I haven't had the physical pleasure of either sex, and maybe this is the reason I'm still unsure about the whole situation. I suppose I'm looking for others who can relate. Can anyone?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Hello SecretLust, you seem to be bisexual. It could be that for the moment your psyche is requesting to have fun with women because that's what our bodies are generally geared for, but also maybe you need to be able to compare how your body functions in relation to other men's bodies. Maybe it's just the normal curiosity of adolescence? You probably need to get out there and get some experience. Just be careful and have the proper protection when you do.
Good luck.
•
princealberto, could you explain what you mean by "comparing how my body functions in relation to other men's bodies"? As for adolescence, I'm 27, so don't think that's it!
•
If all you are interested in is sex, then you are most likely just sexual.
If however you can see yourself cuddling and building a nest with one gender over the other, then you are whatever that gender is - thus if you can see yourself in a home with a woman, cuddling while watching TV or 'playing house' then you are straight. If instead you see yourself doing that with a man, then you are gay.
IF you can see yourself easily cuddling and entering into a life long relationship with either gender then you are bi.
•
I say don't rush to label yourself gay or straight, just experiment with either sex and you will gradually figure out who and what you like. It seems like we always seem to rush people into labeling themselves gay or straight and what not. Take your time
•
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:If all you are interested in is sex, then you are most likely just sexual.
If however you can see yourself cuddling and building a nest with one gender over the other, then you are whatever that gender is - thus if you can see yourself in a home with a woman, cuddling while watching TV or 'playing house' then you are straight. If instead you see yourself doing that with a man, then you are gay.
IF you can see yourself easily cuddling and entering into a life long relationship with either gender then you are bi.
I more easily see myself as as being in a romantic relationship with a woman, but maybe that's because of societal pressures.
As for men, I mostly fantasize about the sexual aspects.
On a sidenote, I remember as a teenager I would sneak into my sister's room and put on her underwear, and I'm not sure if that's related to the whole gay thing, or not.
Jason74 Wrote:I say don't rush to label yourself gay or straight, just experiment with either sex and you will gradually figure out who and what you like. It seems like we always seem to rush people into labeling themselves gay or straight and what not. Take your time
I agree, rushing into labels is a bad idea until I have more experience. Well said.
•
SecretLust Wrote:... I more easily see myself as as being in a romantic relationship with a woman, but maybe that's because of societal pressures ... keep in mind as you grow older you will feel less social pressures. What will you do then all in a straight marriage with children?
•
SecretLust Wrote:princealberto, could you explain what you mean by "comparing how my body functions in relation to other men's bodies"? As for adolescence, I'm 27, so don't think that's it!
Yes, I know, but you said you were a virgin and had no sexual experience, so it could be that you have dragged that adolescent curiosity up until now, not knowing what a real other male looks like in real life? I think some of us keep that adolescent curiosity and most males will probably go on checking out other males for conformity throughout their lives, which is not specifically attached to an age group, nor even probably to a specific sexual orientation.
What I meant was that there was a natural curiosity for things of a sexual nature as we grow into adulthood... gradually, through adolescence and early adulthood...
•
princealbertofb Wrote:Yes, I know, but you said you were a virgin and had no sexual experience, so it could be that you have dragged that adolescent curiosity up until now, not knowing what a real other male looks like in real life? I think some of us keep that adolescent curiosity and most males will probably go on checking out other males for conformity throughout their lives, which is not specifically attached to an age group, nor even probably to a specific sexual orientation.
What I meant was that there was a natural curiosity for things of a sexual nature as we grow into adulthood... gradually, through adolescence and early adulthood...
Sorry for the belated reply. Yeah, it is definitely possible that I still have adolescent curiousity, and it could be that the curiousity is so internalized by now that I'm at least somewhat attracted to men.
I read somewhere that many males have some degree of attraction to the same gender, but they suppress this urge and continue to seek out women, so maybe the fact that I didn't express myself in youth hindered my "natural" development. Who knows? Heh.
•
SecretLust Wrote:Sorry for the belated reply. Yeah, it is definitely possible that I still have adolescent curiousity, and it could be that the curiousity is so internalized by now that I'm at least somewhat attracted to men.
I read somewhere that many males have some degree of attraction to the same gender, but they suppress this urge and continue to seek out women, so maybe the fact that I didn't express myself in youth hindered my "natural" development. Who knows? Heh.
I doubt that anything you have done in the past could make any real change in your sexuality. It is what it is. However, suppressing it will not work forever, if at all. If you're attracted to the same gender and try to suppress it then the attraction will eventually surface again, feeling stronger because of denying yourself, but you won't be "more gay" or "more bisexual", just the same amount of gay or bisexual that you have always been and sexually frustrated! Not to mention conflicted and emotionally drained from the effort you put into something as futile as denying who you are.
•
|
