Personal Paramnesia

[spencer]

I hear what you're saying. However, I'm pretty sure I don't want to try any hormone/surgeries, or whatever. I guess the easiest analogy would be that perhaps I'm a guy who likes playing soccer more than basketball. However, I happened to be perfectly equipped to play basketball.

As far as gender goes, someone said MtF, and I think I'm... maybe more mixed? Constantly asking questions myself.

Saying you're maybe mixed and going along with your analogy perhaps you could find a balance between your desire for for soccer and you're ability for basketball. You don't really seem like you're in on an extreme end of anything but more of a mixture or in the middle. You might just need to find ways to satisfy both areas.

It also sounds like it may be possible that your life experiences have lead to you beleive life would be easier as woman which may just be a way to deal with hard shit? So the issue may not necessarily be gender identity but just how you're dealing with things. Or a combination of them. I think in the end just listening to everyone's ideas will keep you thinking until something just clicks.

[Pinter]

hopefully you will be this content all the time.

I am sorry about your previous experience.

It was hell, and I suppose I'm not ever going to sugarcoat it and say it wasn't. However, I read something somewhere, or maybe I heard it or saw it in a film, I don't remember. It doesn't matter where it came from, but it's never failed to give me hope: it's only those who truly know pain who can know the value, and power, of kindness.

Hopefully I can turn my experience into something meaningful someday.

It also sounds like it may be possible that your life experiences have lead to you beleive life would be easier as woman which may just be a way to deal with hard shit? So the issue may not necessarily be gender identity but just how you're dealing with things. Or a combination of them.

Maybe!

I think in the end just listening to everyone's ideas will keep you thinking until something just clicks.

That's what I came here for. I hope more people keep firing away.