When to tell your date/partner you're a TS

[princealbertofb]

OK, OK, remind which one's the TS and which one's the TG??? Which are the ones that actually get the operation performed?

[Nick9]

OK, OK, remind which one's the TS and which one's the TG??? Which are the ones that actually get the operation performed?

As far as I know, TS.

LOL I don't know the right words here, but what we are doing right now is the thing we call "making a bill without a publican" (an owner of a pub, I hope it is what it means )

[spencer]

They wont care i mean you can always ask them what their opion is on trans people and see how it goes

I'm not sure why I didn't think of that. Probably because I overthought it again. Haha. But I do agree that I much to be upfront about things, I don't like hiding or lying about anything.

It may or may not influence my my thoughts on a potential relationship, I just don't know. All I know is if something important like that was kept from me it would create a trust issue, and I am not a very willing person to give my trust, it must be earned.

I never thought about it like that. I like to think of myself as a thrustworthy person and I hope there's more people out there that would want to know and discuss before turning away.

Spencer have you had the operation then? Are you sure you want to be with a gay guy and not just with any guy? You are a female to male person, right?
You would date other trans guys, meaning another female to male person?

Another question I have is what are your attractive features, as a person? I mean physical and character features? Good looking pecs? Sense of humour? Gentleness?

No. Most guys do not get the operation, it's not as easy as the operation for MTF, it's much harder to add something than to take it away. It costs thousands of dollars and has to be done, or usually, is done outside of the country. I would be okay with dating another FTM person, but most guys around my age are going to be fresh in to transition or pre-transition and I think knowing that I'm still kinda fresh in to it I think it would be overwhelming for me to be concerned with my own hardships through it as well as theirs. Basically I'm more comfortable dating a guy I can't relate to as much.

As for attractive features, well the testotserone is giving me a nice amount of muscle tone. But other than that I think I'm kind of a sensitive and laid back-guy.

It's to do with self sense of gender and sexual orientation, which are, apparently, two quite distinct things, in that respect.
A variety of combinations is possible and any combination could occur.

Gender and sexual orientation are very different things. It's clear that since have gay men and women that our sexuality isn't at all defined by our gender. It does become more coplicated when your TS or TG because well, a straight trans man, why not just be a lesbian? Because gender is not about who you like. When a straight trans guy thinks about being with a women he's not thinking about lesbian sex and a gay trans person is the minority, although most I have met are very "whatever" about their sexuality and some people have changed sides or become bisexual. It really just depends on the person.

OK, OK, remind which one's the TS and which one's the TG??? Which are the ones that actually get the operation performed?

TG is the umbrella term while TS is under the umbrella. TG refers to TS, genderqueer, cross-dressers, etc. So a TS would be more likely to get an operation performed. I didn't actually know this until I was seeing the gender therapist.

[Nick9]

It costs thousands of dollars and has to be done, or usually, is done outside of the country.

It's always the patient who pays for it? Doesn't insurance cover it?
Outside the U.S.? Really? So, where? In Canada?
Thanks

[pellaz]

... deciding if it would be best to tell dates upfront that I wasn't born male, or if I should wait ...

interesting question
i dont know a lot here and could only speak for my self, I would like to be told before.

[Deryn]

Its hard. I have a friend who is FtM and he is gay. He's had a few boyfriends over the last few years so I wouldn't say that all gay guys avoid transgenders. And he hasn't always told them first thing. The last guy he met was on the internet was wanting to come visit and my friend was panicking over whether or not to tell his boy before he made the trip. My friend did, and his boy took some time to think about it and was okay with it. They live together in the American Mid-west right now. I'm happy for them.

I have to say I'm sorry I was not much help throughout that because I told him that was a most likely a deal breaker for me at that time. I really did not understand it. Even being not straight and un-biggoted as I could, I couldn't fathom how he wanted to change just so he could be gay. But I've looked at stuff now and I understand a bit more about gender-identity vs. sexual-identity.

If anyone is interested in learning a bit more, what turned me on to looking it up was a webcomic that is actually an awesome read that is worth the time whether you want to learn about TS issues or not. Its just a story about four couples in college in England. One is a gay couple, one is a lesbian, one is a FtM dating a man, and one is a MtF dating a man. The story is just awesome and the characters are so well done they feel like real friends I could make, I seriously recommend it to anyone who has the time:

Edit: I am not allowed to post links at this time. Sorry folks, just gonna have to say to google: Khaos Komix. It should be the first result.

[spencer]

It's always the patient who pays for it? Doesn't insurance cover it?
Outside the U.S.? Really? So, where? In Canada?
Thanks

Unfortunately transexualism is still considered to be a mental disorder so the surgeries aren't considered necessary and insurance won't cover it. I believe there are some trans-friendly insurance policies and as far as I know there's been more coverage for like testosterone and top surgeries but it's still a work in progress. I know the best place to get the surgery done is in Thailand but there's a few other places and there may be a doctor in the US or Canada but I can't remember where. The best doctor though is in Thailand so that's all I know. I don't know much about it because I'm not seeking bottom surgery anyway, I don't think I could ever come up with the money and I don't think I could handle the surgery, it's pretty crazy.