I want to hate you.

[brybry87]

So my friend from the Uk [Leeds] is coming back in a few weeks..

He'll be here for the whole summer season I think, but he's gonna be all over the states, even out to the West-Coast.

I've had a crush on him for awhile and every time he comes around I always tend to feel like shit when he's around or when he leaves. Feels like shit - cause he's a straight guy and I obviously don't have a chance in the world. Sometimes I wish he'd just be a big jerk so I have a reason to stay away from him. But he's not, he's a really sweet guy, fun to talk to, funny, thoughtful, etc etc

So this time around I'm thinking of just avoiding him altogether; just become the biggest flake ever. He's s'ppose to spin music [He's a Dj] in New York in a few weeks, and I won't be able to make it due to work. Although to be honest I can probably get coverage if I really tried hard enough. He really wants me to come, since I've supported him every time he spun.

There's also rumors going around within a few friends of mine that he's seeing this mutual friend of ours. There's some drama concerning that too, but I won't get into that. If that's the case, I guess I can be happy for them. I'm saying that now, but I'm sure I'll be saying something else if and when I do see them together.

I really don't know what to do. I'm thinking of just avoiding him altogether; he was one of the main reasons of my heart-ache last year, but it's a long period of time to avoid someone.

At the same time I really want to see him and hang out have a few [a lot] drinks like we always do. Stay up til morning and just talk and steal booze from other peoples bottles; teach him how to make American delicacies like Mac 'n' Cheese while drunk.. See the memories have already started coming back..

I know for a fact that one look at him everything will just come flooding back. I have to figure this out soon

[dfiant]

I don't know if avoiding him would be the right thing to do. It would seem that you would be punishing him for something you have done.

The obvious thing to do is also the hardest thing to do, find someone else.

Crushes do eventually run their course but they can take time and sometimes it will take a change in circumstances.

Oh yeah, try not to get too drunk around him

[brybry87]

^Makes sense.

Thanks, I think I'll go see him in NYC. There's gonna be a lot of people there and it'll be a setting where he doesn't have to have any contact or even talk to me. I'll just say my Hello's and How are You's and hopefully leave it off at that.

I have a feeling that I won't get to spend much time with him this time around anyways, so that works.

Plus, I've found out a few not-so great things about him. And he hurt a close friend of mine. Aha..! Not such a great guy after all.

I'll have a few drinks around him and tell him off.. Or something.. jk ;]

[britishstudent]

So jealous of your trans-Atlantic friendship. How did you meet? How can I have one? lol.

[ardus]

I realize while I am typing this that the person who posted it deleted his own account so no one can help him. However, I feel that I have experience relevant to this issue that might help others, and I like helping others.

For those who don't know me I am a non commissioned officer in the United States Army. There are a lot of things that come with that, but one of the things that come with that is when there is someone you are in charge of that you are attracted to you learn to deal with it and move on.

I haven't always been fully sucessful with this, but, I have managed to balance my job and my erection. I've had, over the years several soldiers under me that I would have LOVED to get involved with. I've had crazy ideas about them and fantasies and even a few plans. But in the end, I never went through with it. Why you ask? Because in the end, I understood that the professional relationship we had was vastly more important than any personal relationship could have been.

So how does this relate. He said that his friend wasn't gay. I think many of us can relate, many of us have had that friend that we wanted that wasn't interested. You have to understand the value of the platonic relationship because that relationship is fragile, and if it's gone, it never comes back.

Richard

[GayDatingExpert]

Straight guys can be great friends, explain you have a crush on him but realise it won't go anywhere, at least if it's out there he can understand and you can get on with life.