Hes married but likes me??

[Kurious]

when was the last time you guys got tested for the hiv?
best not to sex a co-worker... ever , keep your gf informed, but i bet if his wife is not on-board the gf will be against it
you play around, do you do safe sex the gf?

Thanks, I dont know about him getting tested obviously, but my partner and I have occasionally, not that we do it with anyone else of late. Im totally aware, co-workers is such a bad idea. I agree, Id rather both our partners should know if anything did eventuate. That would highly likely only happen if I thought the situation was not just a fool around.

[Kurious]

Thanks for the reply azulai alot of good insight therein which I can follow!, and thanks for the welcome

My second is he wants to escape from a house with two newborns and responsibility.

I believe he loves his kids and his duty to them

My third is he's a player and he's played you well.

yes that can be is still very real!

Your first impression of him was cocky, yet now you characterize him as humble. Are you sure he's changed or did he hand you a pair of rose colored glasses?

lol rose glasses, he was only cocky for the first week then became very sincere for months

You do need to check your employee handbook to see if you could both get fired as well.

I believe work relationships are possible at my job providing it doesn't effect work. Though myself I wouldn't want to be in one at work, id rather one of us leave, if we were very happy together it would be something really worth leaving work for. Then again do I want to leave my job???

I will say it's nice to read a post where the ss attraction isn't the freak out.

Thanks, but I have freaked out, alot too but just under the hood and on the down as I feel too embarrassed to show any emotion on this.

It's not just HIV but also viruses such as HPV and Hepatitis B and C. These infections can cause cancer down the road. And, there is also herpes.

I have a big fear of diseases especially in this type of situation thats why I want to tread it carefully, and hence why me and my gf probably dont do it with anyone else, and why we like to keep it really clean

[Kurious]

Hi QueenOdi, thanks for your insight on this one too

Alot of guys I know/knew who showed even a remote interest in other males are either;
>Testing you out, to see your reaction so they can act on it, bad or good.
>Wants to see who is the "Alpha"
The interest doesn't even have to be sexual, but guys in general do this, sometimes subconciously, so it's not wise to lay all your cards out.
Like Azulai said, he can be playing you, getting you to be interested and all sprung and then he can flip the script and humiliate you or take advantage of the situation.

I do believe hes goes far and beyond on what most guys do to get attention from other guys, but thanks yes ive kept your comment in mind as its still a possibility, so yes I will not just throw my cards out on the table is I could be fooling myself. Though I dont think hes out to humiliate me as responses from others is that hes a really nice person to deal and talk with (even though hes a show off sometimes). People find him approachable if they have problems, and he holds high values especially when it comes to his children and his job.

even though your used to an open relationship?

my open relationship only started not long before christmas and it was only a couple of times if that right at the start. Im pretty new to open relationship in terms of actually doing something that means "open", as my partner and I just have had each other since christmas

Personally, I would think of the children and their futures and all the possible repercussions of my and his actions. He can be a bad father/husband, but why should I help him, and thus hurt people in the process. This is how I would be thinking.

Thats part of the big screw up in my head, I dont want to hurt anyone in the process especially the children! wife and GF

It's ultimately up to you, but you should take a step back and look from a different perspective. It's easier to see from the outside then inside.

Im loving the part in where I can read the posts, because I can kind of start to understand it after so long of being so confused

[Kurious]

-i really think its important to discover your gay (or bi) side.

thanks pellaz, after reading this part, I freak out even more in terms of what the hell im I getting myself into! am I going through a phase is is this for real! I wouldnt know where to start, Ive never felt like this before to a guy, hes just trapped me so bad in this situation, im so confused. What would my family/mates think,

-I avoid open relationships. It could indicate the relationship is burnt out and should end.

sometimes I think this in terms of are we really happy, I say I am, but wonder sometimes

On a secondary level this includes the sex but primarily includes the respect, communications and trust found in all relationships.

I want respect and trust and hope to still have it in a long term relationship who ever its with.

[Kurious]

G Day mate, welcome to Gayspeak.
You'd be mad if you didn't take Azulai's advice, it's the best advice that could be given.

Thanks for the welcome, giday

[Kurious]

Thanks for the welcome Aunty Zeon

I would say your confusion isnt nessicary with him it may be to be with your sexuality. Basically your developing feelings you wouldnt expect...

That can be and maybe true, but I have too much feelings developed for him now, that ive never felt before for a male, I will post in a few minutes why I feel for him only and what qualities I like of him now.

So you got a married man after you... Now as a gay man i tend to find married men hit on men when their wives are not giving them what they want for example.... Blow jobs... Yes every man loves a good sensational time.. I would personally be a bit weary of this... I think the best thing to do is firstly make up your mind inside and ask yourself this.... Could you leave your girlfriend for another man??? If the answer is No then accept this as Bromance... However if the answer is YES... (the more the merrier lol.... Only joking) then you need to kind of consider also how you would tell your girlfriend your leaving her...

Yes sometimes I can think of leaving her for him, but then I think what the hell am I doing, its just not right or is it. I still like her, but Im starting to think I like him more??? then I think no way do I want to spend my life with him or a guy, I like it better where I am, Im so confused. Yes clearly I need to sort my shi*t out

The whole showing off in the office is his way of making a statement to say "Ohh look at me arent I pretty, arent I the one with the alter ego... Yes im a higher up position than you therefore making me more intitled to show off and make a complete nob of myself to get ratings" You say he acts differently to you from the others.... Id like to ask how is he acting different towards you from the others? Is it in a good sense of bad?

Yes he shows off a couple of times, but hes actually laid back, and actually quiet. Hes a hard worker. he doesn't really boast about his authority to an extreme level, hes very stern when it comes to his job making sure things are done. people consider him really helpful and easy to get along with though. Though you made me laugh the way you said it above. He acts extra nice to me with random gestures in where he never does it with anyone else. Hes super nice to me compared to anyone else. He makes sure Im there and ok. I'll post something more in a few minutes.

Asking him out for a beer isnt any harm in it... It doesnt look suspicious at the end of the day if anyone asks your breaking the ice and invite them along for the next one... The fact that he is married it may be a bit difficult to both get hitched however you would both need to be adults here and think it through if it did develop into a relationship or something like that... Attention craving is a nice thing to happen.. I often crave for attention so i talk to my dogs as cant afford to go to town lol...

Thanks, im going to build the courage to ask for a beer out one night, and yes I want to be very careful and courteous especially with the relationships we are already in. Dogs are the best friends to have by the way mile:

hand him a camera and say "Why dont you take a picture it will last longer?" See what his reaction is... Poking his arse in your direction all the time can be harmless bromance

camera part = lol and bromance I still laugh at that saying!

My ultimate advice is invite for a beer and go with the flow but dont get drunk!

is exactly what im going to do once i get the courage, and Im not going to get drunk! :eek:

[Kurious]

Hello and welcome to G.S.

Tread very carefully with this one, you both work together and have to see each other daily.
He is a NGZ ( No Go Zone) on all fronts.

Hi Rainbowmum, why does it feel like im getting a "well deserved!" slap on the hand from you.:redface:

Thanks for your comment, I totally agree, daily at work would be really tough, but its already tough now, I wish I could wish it all way, I wish he never came to my job, because I was happy. Now Im in the not knowing and confused part. But yours and others replies are very helpful. And I think many times, hes a no go for many reasons too. At least youve and others have helped in terms of if all fails meaning if I just walk away knowing that hes actually a player, liar ext, I wouldn't feel so bad, because no one deserves that kind of rubbish and he wouldnt be worth worrying about.

[Kurious]

Sorry for my long post agin, but after 5 months im so happy to get this off my shoulder!!!

Thanks for all replies, much needed as my brains tangled and exausted from this. Its the first time ive told anyone and reading my post and replies helps me think clearer with hopefully a better perspective. I havnt even told my gf, mainly because its a guy and Im too ashamed now to bring that up to her (or anyone) as its too random and totally fk-up.

He really loves his kids from what I hear from others, but he never talks about his wife? Hes a real family man, well good father at least. He seems always eager to finish work to see his kids, but two known occasions hes stayed late waiting for me to finish work, which Ive finished late some times. Though when I finish he stares and tries to get my attention I try to ignore him and walk out. Other times I usually have my lunches late to fit around my job, and he waits for me alone in the kitchen and hangs around until I start my lunch and finish it, obviously always staring and trying to get my attention. Other times when I go outside for a walk, a few times hes got out of his desk come down stairs to follow me. Every time I look back at him he either smiles or quickly looks away or stares at the ground like an inocent dummy. When I looked online about people really liking someone else, he fitted 99% of differnet traights and gestures, but one I never knew was caressing of the eyebrow. I never knew there was such a gesture, and I think who the flippin hek does that, but he does it! to me only occasionally, I now freak out.

Sometimes I think he keeps pursueing me because Ive never told him to p#ss off, and ocasionally Ive slightly smiled back at him. I think he likes me because the way I look (I cringe when I say that!), im very laid back, I have a few pictures of my god children on my desk (love them to bits), I have no dramas (well none he knows of), I get along with everyone else, I have never been arogant, showed off or told him to bugger off, im too nice yet stern when it comes to something I dont like (apart from this situation, which is really fk-up in my books)

What attracts me to him is that he loves his kids, he shows attention to me, hes persistant, hes good looking and he doesnt have any dramas at work. He seems to know what he wants, looks very clean, and with a good job and degree, and a hard worker. When hes around others, he can sometimes act like a show off and be very stern, but when hes around me hes different to me now after the first week being a show off, he acts all nice with an innocent shy baby face while staring at me. Hes nice with me, just a bit too nice for normal situations. All the affection he trys to show and his getures are exactly what any male (and me) would try to do to get females attention. Hes very persestint, 5 months, daily persistant. Though lately (last month or so) I think hes now getting frustrated and tired, because when he stares at me and when I snub him he turns into major puppy eyes with a sad face like a lost soul. Thats why Im on here now blurting this out, because its tiring me out too, its got to the point where I just want to be with him and leave my job if it makes things easier for me or us or not be with him and he should get another job. None of this is normal! What the hek are we doing! What the hell am I thinking or doing!

What puts me off and is wrong, is yes hes a guy! yes hes married!!!!! yes he works with me! Yes the possibility hes a dirty player! Yes I dont know how anyone I know would react to this! Yes what the hell am I doing! Ye this is unfamiliar territory! Yes I may end up dissapointed! But I cant help thinking is what if hes clean and just wants a way out to be with a guy instead. Why I think that is because Ive known a couple of guys (not directly) who were married had children but moved on to a gay coupling shortly after. They are now happily coupled, they love their kids who are happy and their ex wives are happily married again. Im not saying I want to oust the wife and make him forget his kids, no way Id always what them to be his number ones, but I cant help thinking its unfair on both him and his wife if he doesnt want her and she has to put up with it, thats not right. Then again Its not my right to get into their business.

After reading replies and my posts, Im going to tread this situation very very carfully. I have to answer my curiosity only because it will never go down if I dont ask him what hes thinking, and I cant keep working like this. Im going to work up the courage to ask him for a drink night, and talk like normal blokes only! and see where that goes. And if I get one negative sniff of player, dirty on the wife, dirty on me and work, ignorance on his children, I will run away like road runner, as I dont want to be part of that at all. But if hes genuine, I will see what his deal is and how we can take it from there (maybe), like a genuine shoulder to lean on.

[Kurious]

What attracts me to him is that he loves his kids, he shows attention to me, hes persistant, hes good looking and he doesnt have any dramas at work. He seems to know what he wants, looks very clean, and with a good job and degree, and is a good worker. When hes around others, he can show off sometimes or be really stern when relating to work, but when hes around me hes different to me now after the first week being a show off, he acts all nice with an innocent shy baby face while staring at me. Hes nice with me, just a bit too nice for normal situations. All the affection he trys to show and his getures are exactly what any male (and me) would try to do to get females attention. Hes very persistent, 5 months, daily persistent. Though lately (last month or so) I think hes now getting frustrated and tired, because when he stares at me and when I snub him he turns into major puppy eyes with a sad face like a lost soul. Thats why Im on here now blurting this out, because its tiring me out too, its got to the point where I just want to be with him and leave my job if it makes things easier for me or us or not be with him and he should get another job. None of this is normal! What the hek are we doing! What the hell am I thinking or doing!

What puts me off and is wrong, is yes hes a guy! (no disrespect at all on here), yes hes married!!!!! yes he works with me! Yes the possibility hes a dirty player! Yes I dont know how anyone I know would react to this! Yes what the hell am I doing! Ye this is unfamiliar territory! Yes I may end up dissapointed! But I cant help thinking is what if hes clean and just wants a way out to be with a guy instead. Why I think that is because Ive known a couple of guys (not directly) who were married had children but moved on to a gay coupling shortly after. They are now happily coupled, they love their kids who are happy and their ex wives are happily married again. Im not saying I want to oust the wife and make him forget his kids, no way Id always what them to be his number ones, but I cant help thinking its unfair on both him and his wife if he doesnt want her and she has to put up with it, thats not right. Then again Its not my right to get into their business.

[Kurious]

After reading replies and my posts, Im going to tread this situation very very carfully. I have to answer my curiosity only because it will never go down if I dont ask him what hes thinking, and I cant keep working like this. Im going to work up the courage to ask him for a drink night, and talk like normal blokes only! and see where that goes. And if I get one negative sniff of player, dirty on the wife, dirty on me and work, ignorance on his children, I will run away like road runner, as I dont want to be part of that at all. But if hes genuine, I will see what his deal is and how we can take it from there (maybe), like a genuine shoulder to lean on.