Hi, thanks everyone for "ALL" your input, its helped! and it helped build assurance and courage to talk to him, as I was at my job first and was happy before he turned up so didnt deserve to be stressed, depressed, wanting to quit my job ect for anyone or any reason!. After talking to him today yes he liked me, and wife knows hes gay from closeted bi when they met at uni as he was fun ect ect, they are happy just being mainly buddies, we are just happily new mates and I like it that way
I deleted my posts as were too sensitive as issue now sorted and Im deleting my account now, THANKS AGAIN !!!
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Hi welcome to the forum. You have to be careful. He's married with babies first ask him for a drink to get to know him better and to test the water. If he's watching you I belive he may like you. If he just wants to friends that's good at least you will have a friendship. What ever happens I wish you luck.
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wife and two kids; when was the last time you guys got tested for the hiv?
best not to sex a co-worker... ever
if your ok with the above and you want to proceed
the best thing is become friends with the guy, just ask him
keep your gf informed, but i bet if his wife is not on-board the gf will be against it
you play around, do you do safe sex the gf?
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My first take is he's looking for a tighter hole.
My second is he wants to escape from a house with two newborns and responsibility.
My third is he's a player and he's played you well.
Your first impression of him was cocky, yet now you characterize him as humble. Are you sure he's changed or did he hand you a pair of rose colored glasses?
Fact: he is married.
Fact: he has two babies.
My guess: highly doubt he's in an open marriage.
You however are free within whatever terms you and your gf have agreed regards your open relationship. But, you do have to examine your ethics and HIS because there is a possible innocent and naive party involved, his wife. It's not just HIV but also viruses such as HPV and Hepatitis B and C. These infections can cause cancer down the road. And, there is also herpes.
So, you need to make a decision with your big head not your little head. He's given you a raging case of crush/lust. You need to step away a minute and think. If you are ok with being with someone who is probably lying to his wife, who puts the moves on a subordinate at work, and has probably has a grindr account for his hookups for quite a while, then that has to be your decision. No one else's, yours.
You do need to check your employee handbook to see if you could both get fired as well.
I will say it's nice to read a post where the ss attraction isn't the freak out. You seem like a chill dude and very open minded. My main concern is that you are being played.
Welcome to GS.
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azulai Wrote:My first take is he's looking for a tighter hole.
My second is he wants to escape from a house with two newborns and responsibility.
My third is he's a player and he's played you well.
Your first impression of him was cocky, yet now you characterize him as humble. Are you sure he's changed or did he hand you a pair of rose colored glasses?
Fact: he is married.
Fact: he has two babies.
My guess: highly doubt he's in an open marriage.
You however are free within whatever terms you and your gf have agreed regards your open relationship. But, you do have to examine your ethics and HIS because there is a possible innocent and naive party involved, his wife. It's not just HIV but also viruses such as HPV and Hepatitis B and C. These infections can cause cancer down the road. And, there is also herpes.
So, you need to make a decision with your big head not your little head. He's given you a raging case of crush/lust. You need to step away a minute and think. If you are ok with being with someone who is probably lying to his wife, who puts the moves on a subordinate at work, and has probably has a grindr account for his hookups for quite a while, then that has to be your decision. No one else's, yours.
You do need to check your employee handbook to see if you could both get fired as well.
I will say it's nice to read a post where the ss attraction isn't the freak out. You seem like a chill dude and very open minded. My main concern is that you are being played.
Welcome to GS.
aaaaannnd that's a wrap! Azulai pretty much said what I was thinking and I definitely agree.
Alot of guys I know/knew who showed even a remote interest in other males are either;
>Testing you out, to see your reaction so they can act on it, bad or good.
>Wants to see who is the "Alpha"
The interest doesn't even have to be sexual, but guys in general do this, sometimes subconciously, so it's not wise to lay all your cards out.
Like Azulai said, he can be playing you, getting you to be interested and all sprung and then he can flip the script and humiliate you or take advantage of the situation.
Now he could be genuinely interested, but again, Azulai makes the point about his possible track record with fidelity or infidelity if he is interested in you/others. You may feel love for him and what not, but do you want someone who would so willingly cheat on their spouse, even though your used to an open relationship?
Personally, I would think of the children and their futures and all the possible repercussions of my and his actions. He can be a bad father/husband, but why should I help him, and thus hurt people in the process. This is how I would be thinking.
It's ultimately up to you, but you should take a step back and look from a different perspective. It's easier to see from the outside then inside.
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-i really think its important to discover your gay (or bi) side. Bad if later in life you have a wife and children and then discover you are gay.
-you can do better than hooking up with a straight married man, with children, co-worker, while you are in an "open relationship". There is nothing right here except the guy is over 18years old. Buy a grinder account.
-Attraction to straight men is a common trap gay men get into I think because there are few gay men in the population (3-8%) and if guys are not out you really can't know their preference.
-I avoid open relationships. It could indicate the relationship is burnt out and should end.
being gay means you can have a successful same sex relationship. On a secondary level this includes the sex but primarily includes the respect, communications and trust found in all relationships.
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azulai Wrote:My first take is he's looking for a tighter hole.
My second is he wants to escape from a house with two newborns and responsibility.
My third is he's a player and he's played you well.
Your first impression of him was cocky, yet now you characterize him as humble. Are you sure he's changed or did he hand you a pair of rose colored glasses?
Fact: he is married.
Fact: he has two babies.
My guess: highly doubt he's in an open marriage.
You however are free within whatever terms you and your gf have agreed regards your open relationship. But, you do have to examine your ethics and HIS because there is a possible innocent and naive party involved, his wife. It's not just HIV but also viruses such as HPV and Hepatitis B and C. These infections can cause cancer down the road. And, there is also herpes.
So, you need to make a decision with your big head not your little head. He's given you a raging case of crush/lust. You need to step away a minute and think. If you are ok with being with someone who is probably lying to his wife, who puts the moves on a subordinate at work, and has probably has a grindr account for his hookups for quite a while, then that has to be your decision. No one else's, yours.
You do need to check your employee handbook to see if you could both get fired as well.
I will say it's nice to read a post where the ss attraction isn't the freak out. You seem like a chill dude and very open minded. My main concern is that you are being played.
Welcome to GS.
G Day mate, welcome to Gayspeak.
You'd be mad if you didn't take Azulai's advice, it's the best advice that could be given.
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Hello,
Firstlyn welcome to the forum.. I will let you nknow your reading from Aunty Zeon (signature gives it away). I would say your confusion isnt nessicary with him it may be to be with your sexuality. Basically your developing feelings you wouldnt expect...
Firstly open relationships arent always the key to a sucessful relationship with regards to you and your girlfriend. However they have been known to strengthen one or weaken one depending on how mind set you both are... Now onto the intitial topic...
So you got a married man after you... Now as a gay man i tend to find married men hit on men when their wives are not giving them what they want for example.... Blow jobs... Yes every man loves a good sensational time.. I would personally be a bit weary of this... I think the best thing to do is firstly make up your mind inside and ask yourself this.... Could you leave your girlfriend for another man??? If the answer is No then accept this as Bromance... However if the answer is YES... (the more the merrier lol.... Only joking) then you need to kind of consider also how you would tell your girlfriend your leaving her...
The whole showing off in the office is his way of making a statement to say "Ohh look at me arent I pretty, arent I the one with the alter ego... Yes im a higher up position than you therefore making me more intitled to show off and make a complete nob of myself to get ratings" You say he acts differently to you from the others.... Id like to ask how is he acting different towards you from the others? Is it in a good sense of bad? I would say to enhance this try something comical and next time he stares hand him a camera and say "Why dont you take a picture it will last longer?" See what his reaction is... Poking his arse in your direction all the time can be harmless bromance however body language gives off more than vocals so he may be over stepping the mark.. When he next tries to talk to you dont get embarrissed just spark up any conversation you can... You may find a lot of his mannerisms could be an ice breaking point and the problem with 20 somethings and trust me aunty is 27 is that they are worse than kids lol... Or least I am... When he next flirts just say something like... Awwww thats all pretty and talk randomness if his truely interested further he should be enquiring from curiousity...
Asking him out for a beer isnt any harm in it... It doesnt look suspicious at the end of the day if anyone asks your breaking the ice and invite them along for the next one... The fact that he is married it may be a bit difficult to both get hitched however you would both need to be adults here and think it through if it did develop into a relationship or something like that... Attention craving is a nice thing to happen.. I often crave for attention so i talk to my dogs as cant afford to go to town lol...
Now all you need to do with regards to the beer is just say.. What you doing after work this week anything good??? Suggest if he would like to join you for a beer.. I know with me i tend to do the whole point instead of beating round the bush... You will get two answers either YES or NO If you do go for a beer dont get pissed because when your pissed u make a tit of yourself and become dis orientated.. You will need to ride this one out and first focus on you and figuring out your sexuality... Reason i say this is because if your girlfriend gets bitter she may go round telling the towjn what a raving homo you are and if you axccept yourself first your find it easier.
My ultimate advice is
invite for a beer and go with the flow but dont get drunk!
kindest regards
Aunty Zeon x
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Hello and welcome to G.S.
Tread very carefully with this one, you both work together and have to see each other daily.
He is a NGZ ( No Go Zone) on all fronts.
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Dan1980 Wrote:Hi welcome to the forum. You have to be careful. He's married with babies first ask him for a drink to get to know him better and to test the water. If he's watching you I belive he may like you. If he just wants to friends that's good at least you will have a friendship. What ever happens I wish you luck.
Thank you for the welcome, I will be very careful now, if he wants to be friends, at least I would know after building courage for a drink first
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