Best friends

[Alwaysconfused]

A best friend is suppose to be there for you right? Even if it's stupid? I mean we are best friends for a reason. If I miss a txt or call I always get bk to them, i understand that my friend may be busy but if she truly is my best friend then she could of asked me what was up. I would! I'm begining to think that she isn't really a good friend bc I know she's always at home bored doing nothing, bc she doesn't have a job and etc. But I know she goes out sometimes which is rare. So I understand if u can't get to me right away but I think the right thing to do is to see what's up!

This is the second time I called her when I really needed to talk, and she never got bk to me! The first time she got bk to me the next day even though I gave the " hey I really need to talk code" which is calling more than once. If someone was calling that much then I know something may be wrong. Maybe I ask for too much, but if ur gonna be bff then the least u can do is check up on me when u missed my call.

She went on a rant on fb about this whole just bc u call doesn't mean I'm at ur beck and call. Which is true, but I only call her when I have something to talk about, otherwise I just text her. I didn't appreciate this lil rant of hers. Instead of telling me. She makes into a rant to let her ppl know. I know she was aiming it at me. I don't need her to be at my back and call but she just assumes shit. She doesn't know how to act or socialize w/other ppl or understand certain things. Maybe that's why she is the way she is but she needs to learn how to understand things. If u knew her ull understand what I mean.

[East]

I am a hands off best friend so I would probably be a worse problem than she is...so I guess I don't have any advice. For me...answering someone every time they want to talk would be a personal nightmare. Even worse....if the "I need to talk" was drama stuff I would soon become an "ex" best friend:biggrin:

I hope you get it sorted out...Good luck to you!

[Nick9]

Hi,
when I read your post my view gradually changed. I went from: some people don't like to make calls. I know it sounds strange, but I know a few. Some people don't like to call back when they miss a call. I do, but to tell the truth many times I don't feel comfortable doing it.
I feel like, ok they called me because they had time to chat, or something was urgent. Now it's and hour later, they may be busy and the urgency is probably gone. Like I said, I usually call back, but not every time.

I even thought about some excuse for her when I was reading the second paragraph, and I came up with some.

But that FB thing is unacceptable for me. Maybe I am an old school guy, but this is not the things best friends do. Honestly I doubt that friends do this.

About the fact that your best friend must be there for your all the time... I am not sure. Maybe during our teenage years? But once you grow older, you usually have your own life and you simply can't drop everything and run to help. You do that, but I guess not every time.

My sis is my best friend and I do drop everything when she need it. But I doubt I would do that for someone outside my family. Sometimes - yes, every time - I am not sure.

That doesn't mean I would not pick up your call. I talk about being there for your best friend all the time. I guess it depends on how often by best friend would want me to drop everything.

[Sylph]

My Close friend [not totally besties, because I don't hangout with her "circle"] and I always talk about Boyz and stuff :tongue: .

But when it comes to needing to talk, I feel like she's not always there, but I won't get on her case, because I know she has a lot on her plate [parents kicked her out, her boyfriend turned out to be gay, just alot].

I'm a talker, by my Libra nature, but I realize when people don't want to talk, so I just back off. I usually talk to her and she listens, but I listen to her as well and give my "gay guy advice" , but somedays she just doesn't like talking.

I can see where you're coming from, but I think sometimes you can't always rely on that person, even if they are your bestie. I agree they should have your back, but sometimes they might be dealing with their own personal drama and can't deal with yours at that moment.

I learned this after not have many friends and then getting a whole bunch when I joined my Highschool String Ensemble.

But then again, if she just blows you off all the time and for really no reason, then that's obvious proof of the type of friend she is.

You should be able to sit down and talk to her and ask her what's up and not be agressive towards her or her towards you.

In the first couple days of meeting my gal-pal[we met in a semester course at college], I realized she was always tired in class and having a hard time actually making class, and I talked to her while the teacher stepped out and she told me about her family drama[Bermudians are close-friendly people].

She told me allllll the Drama for yo Mama and then some and I was like :frown: , because I felt bad for always wanting to talk and joke and stuff. So I've taken the time to listen to her and her problems, even at 2am in the morning when she get's drunk and dances with married men... >.> .[Via Blackberry ofcourse]

So maybe you two should have a little girl time and talk out whatever issues you two have and what not, because it's not going to be nice just ending it because one of you came off as too selfish to the other.

Also, I don't think she should've posted on Facebook, problems you and her could've solved, but she's showing her colours.

We have an expression here; "Don't smell yourself" , meaning don't become so self-absorbed or obnoxious.

So..

I hope it works out for you two mile: .

[malexander]

There's nothing I hate more than "We need to talk"

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie give your friend some breathing room.
Don't jump to assumptions .

[zeon]

Hello,
To me all my friends are equal and i dont do best friends because even best friends fall out over stupid things... Maybe anaylise the situation and if she doesnt get back dont fret just be there for her... As they say

we dont give to recieve

kindest regards

aunty zeon x

[mrk2010]

Hello,
To me all my friends are equal and i dont do best friends because even best friends fall out over stupid things... Maybe anaylise the situation and if she doesnt get back dont fret just be there for her... As they say

we dont give to recieve

kindest regards

aunty zeon x

Whhhhaaaaaaaaaattt? Everyone has a best friend or should lol

[zeon]

lol mr k i would hate to be felt different from the rest or know someone is better than me so i practice what i preach and love all my friends equal and always there for em the same mister x im dying of bordeom anyhow lol

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Best Friends do not rely on 'I need to talk codes' when leaving messages. They simply say 'hey, I need to talk.' Talk about not being able to socialize.... Pot, Kettle, Black?

Seems to me she is at best annoyed with you - after all she posted on FB that you did such and so and are needy.

Seems to me you are ranting a bit too. Again pot, kettle, black?

Because she doesn't have a Job, etc doesn't necessarily mean she is bored. She might actually be scared out of her wits trying to figure out how to make ends meet - she may be terrified she will end up alone and homeless. Like it or not she has stuff on her plate and she may not feel up to playing the 'code game' and may actually need to talk more than you, but pretty much guesses that if she tried to talk about herself you would turn it around to be a talk about your stuff.

I suspect you have ran a hole in the 'Help me' path you run to her and she just can't deal with your stuff on top of her own stuff.

No she may not be handling it right, but your description of her non-social behaviors screams depression - if not other issues. Issues which you most likely are unaware of because your need for help appears to be more important than hers.

A real friend knows when to back off and knows that when a person whats room they mayn't actually express it civilly and politely.

I would suggest taking a pizza (her favorite kind, not yours) and a couple of movies (movies she likes, not ones you like) to her house and offer a pizza and movie night without talking about your stuff, but being willing to listen to her stuff if she talks.