Question about my son?

[cisco]

I know my son is either gay or bi dont even think he really knows... Anyways he has a hat with a rainbow lightning bolt coming out of a cloud. What does that symbolize... He said if we dont know than we dont need to know... just want to know what it means.. Thanks

[Sylph]

Hi Cisco .

It could possibly be nothing or it could mean everything. Things only have a meaning if you give them one.

How are you so sure that he's gay or bisexual? Perhaps he's if he's outwardly feminine, but some guys like that, still like girls. I have 2 guy friends who hangout with girls, shop with them, gossip with them, but the difference is, they also go on dates with girls.

I wouldn't read so much into the hat, but rather sit down and have a long talk with him.

I don't know if you're male or female, but if female or if his mom's in his life, it may be more comforting if she/you talked to him first, because based on my experience, dad's only make it harder, though to each his own and if you are male and you have a good relationship with him, then have at it.

But you can't have any expectations based on how you want him to live his life, if what he tells you is not what you want to hear.

I suggest just loving him either way and give him a big smooch/hug, either way.

But definitely talk to him. Talk to him, love him and accept him, from every angle you can.

Hope it works out!

[jamiebfd]

symbol of gay pride is the rainbow. Or at least where i live anyway

[Jay125]

Yeah, the rainbow colours have been adopted by the gay community

[Sylph]

Well, yes, the Rainbow colours have been adopted by the gay community, but I think he/she means the lightning bolt specifically, because the rainbow is pretty much universally known as the symbol for Gay. :biggrin:

[I love the rainbow *twirls* ]

Edit: @Cisco- I just realized you have 22 as your age, so how is it that your son is old enough to be gay/bi or for you to suspect him of being so? :confused:

[pellaz]

sounds like you have NOT sat down and talked with son.
Lightning bolts are dont care...really!

even if your not completely secure with your own sexuality and possibly homophobic or just fearful of the topic you two need to talk. Parents should be 101% supportive of their children, else you leave it up to us, strangers on the internet. Or they roll around till they figure it out themselves.

the best times for me to talk to my daughter was on a long drive, I was driving. We got into the habit of discussing lots of things I did not know about. The most important thing was we two felt each others voices. can you hold hands?

-He is not going to change who he is. Sexuality is some what fluid, try not to have him put a label on it too much but it is a priority HE figure it out. Less he gets in a straight marriage with children and he decides he is gay.
-Watching gay porn dosnt define anything, being gay is being able to have a successful same sex relationship. Straight or gay relationships are much the same, sex is part of a relationship but there is much more. He will feel totally the same about his same sex partner as you would about your partner.
-Being gay should not limit your love for him. Encourage him to bring his boy friends by for dinner, thanks giving and christmas. Go with him to gay pride on family day.
-Being gay should not limit his options in his life, he can still experience being a parent, education, a career and the love of a partner.
-of age, steady boy friend & your son MUST sleep together in your home because they are in a relationship, the same as you the husband wife.

How would your son rank you as a parent; do a search for an old post I did "QA the parenting you recieve".... link:
http://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=19756

[cisco]

He is 21 i am his dad... He got into porn a lot when he was a late teenager.

[pellaz]

He is 21 i am his dad... He got into porn a lot when he was a late teenager.

i was shocked my self being a dad. Its not a god given right and only a few people if any are any good at it. Congratulations on taking a big first step and talking about it.

as i said porn is dont care. If he was gay than; dating a boy in high school is difficult so the porn is a substitute and who dosnt download porn on the internet.

[Deryn]

If you are basing it entirely around the hat then you might be mistaken. The symbol is from a popular (with college aged men no less) show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Plenty of teenager to college aged people watch it, calling themselves Bronies, and it has a huge market. I actually still haven't seen it, but I know a lot about it because all of my friends watch it and I just went to this convention thing where about a sixth of all the art done was My Little Pony.

Does the hat have this symbol from the left pony on it: ?

[Sylph]

He is 21 i am his dad... He got into porn a lot when he was a late teenager.

Oh okay... so I'm assuming gay porn then?

Well that's a big clue mile: .

Does this bother you? Is that why you are asking, because if he's watching porn[which is pretty much normal for most boys - I never really got it], especially gay porn, which should be a clear indicator, then why do you have to know the significance of his hat?

If you've noticed he's taken an interest in other guys, then that should be your answer, however, I stick to my first post and agree with Pellaz's, you should talk to him and find out what's up.

I'm not really sure what the problem is or what you are concerned about, but either you should talk to him or perhaps wait until he feels comfortable talking to you about it.

I'm the eldest of 4 boys and 2 girls and the two that have gone through puberty [15 & 14], my brothers, have come to me and talked to me about girls, even though I'm clearly not into them. But the point is, we are so close, that they feel comfortable enough coming to me and talking to me[even about stuff I don't want to know...], and that should be how your son sees you.

You should be able to sit down and talk about his feelings and so on, because only he can give you the answers you want, wether you want to hear/accept them or not.

So yeah, talk it out mile: .