Hey everybody, first of all, thanks for reading this. Im sure that my post like this is a dime a dozen, but I figured I would tailor my question to fit me. But here lately it has been on my heart to come out to my close work partner, and one of my best friends. We have to work together for 24 hours at a time, 3 days a week. We have been working together for about 6 months now, and she is probably the most trustworthy person I know. Im a bi sexual and want to tell her so bad. One of her other close friends is lesbian, and I know she is very accepting and it doesnt bother her one bit. I lean more to the side of being gay, but have feelings for females as well, thats why I consider myself bisexual. And I think she has some sort of clue, because I will say things that makes her wonder. Actually alot of the time I will "Jokingly" say gay things about men i see that i think are hot, and she always laughs and agrees, but I am kind of screwing myself, because I say those things as a joke when im actually serious, because its my only escape to let it out, without coming out. I think she has a clue to some degree, because for one she has asked me before if i was gay, but of course i denied it. This is before I knew her really well. She even told me about 4-5 months ago, she wouldnt care if i was gay, and that it wouldnt change her opinion of me. As I consider myself bi, I want to tell her so bad, because I know she wouldnt care, but I just cant say it! I wish she would ask me again, because i would come clean, but doing it myself seems impossible sometimes. I dont plan on coming out of the closet all the way, because my family wouldnt be very accepting of me, and I have a very close tight nit relationship with my family. But it would just be nice to even have one friend I could truly be myself around. Ugh, any advice?
Thanks for reading,
Unkown21
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a work relationship gone bad is difficult.
sounds like she is a friend as is not and I would not change the pattern and or ask her out. But i would tell her im bi.
say something like; "I hope it dosnt change your opinion of me but i am BI. I am telling you this to quit any rumors or confusion who I am. I am still the same person and want to be your friend at work"
tell her you have been dealing with this yourself and she is the first person you have told...
good luck
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why would you not be able to tell her?
coming out is always YOUR decision. If your not 101% comfortable here dont do it.
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she already knows i think, and shes giving you the chance to say ,,, just drop some more hits that will make her ask again the come clean as u say - she sounds cool, u have a gd friend there mate
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I dont plan on coming out of the closet all the way, because my family wouldnt be very accepting of me, and I have a very close tight nit relationship with my family.
No disrespect intended BUT how can you have a close knit relationship with people who would not like or accept you if they knew who you really were? You probably dont realize the ongoing damage that you are doing to yourself and your self esteem (and your mind).
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When is the last time a straight person came up to you and stammered the words:
"I - I - I'm straight...."
???
Just be yourself and answer whatever questions are asked honestly. As for all of that joking, start being more serious and she will get the hint.
Honestly, we no longer need to hide and make a big production out of 'coming out' - all we need to do is live our lives naturally.
Now days when somebody asks me if I have a girlfriend I say "No, but then my husband wouldn't understand me having a girlfriend."
I let them know without coming out and saying 'You know I'm gay - right?'
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Well my guess and going by my personal experiences is if she asked you once she is going to leave it at that, but she probably has you pegged as being gay. So the ball is in your court to tell her when your ready.
The reason I say this is one of my girl friends asked me if I was gay and I did exactly what you did and denied it. Later on I told her and she said I know. So I asked how because I don't think I act gay and she proceed to explain and now we have a better relationship as friends.
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best advice I can give, if there is an iota of doubt in your mind...DON'T do it...things like this are difficult to recant.
By all means discuss your confusion if you feel comfortable or confident enough with a person, but while ever there is any doubt, the time is not right.
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Thinking about comming out, Having doubts.
) Its a friendship that we both cherish and value. Its not so much that there are rumors flowing about, like i said, im very confident that she wouldnt look at me differently. Its just getting the courage to tell her.