I told my best friend I like him, now he won't speak to me

[Nick9]

He's shown his true colours. If he cannot support you or accept you, even as just a friend, then fuck him

I am going to take just this one sentence and not look at the context.
I've heard this so many times. I even said it several times, to others or to myself.

Honestly, it doesn't work for me at all. It's like sour grapes. We can't have something so we put it down and say we don't want it anyway.

Lucky you all who can make this work. I need to make peace with others to be happy.

[Sylph]

I am going to take just this one sentence and not look at the context.
I've heard this so many times. I even said it several times, to others or to myself.

Honestly, it doesn't work for me at all. It's like sour grapes. We can't have something so we put it down and say we don't want it anyway.

Lucky you all who can make this work. I need to make peace with others to be happy.

Oh Nicky, I'm sorry you had to hear that from sweet, lil ol' me, but sometimes some people need to hear that.

I too like to work things out with people, but when it's obvious it can't be or they don't want to, then you have to just let it go.

If someone wants to leave your life, then they are nothing more than a leaf on a tree. The slightest breeze will blow them away. True friends are like the roots of a tree, immovable and always supporting you. This works both ways.

I didn't have many friends growing up, so I learned the hard way I guess, about true friendship and how even though I was different, some people liked me and some didn't.

It's just a matter really of a person's character. Usually I'm quite optimistic, and really forgiving, but sometimes some people just need to hear it without the sugar and fairies.

I hope I didn't come off as too mean... I don't like to be, but like I said, sometimes it has to be said mile: .

Forgive me Nicky-poo?

[Sylph]

Hey guys,

thanks for all your responses, I see great understanding in all of them. I understand the great pressure I've placed on him, and I realise that he needs space to fully realise all of it. But what I am worried of happening is the fact that he will be thinking about things that have happened that didn't mean what he now probably thinks they did. Bowyn you are right about me returning, not to talk about the issues, but to get his support.

The hardest part is the fact that I'm living with him, I see him every day, and it's extremely hard to see how our friendship has weakened. We still hang out in the same room with the rest of my housemates, play videogames as a group, and everything seems normal apart from the fact that he never addresses me or speaks to me properly. When I sent a group text asking everyone when they were getting back from the pub, he was the first to reply with an answer. Similarly, he still included me in a group text telling me his degree grade, so I am experiencing conflicting ideas.

I have never thought my friend would ever reciprocate feelings, it was my own selfish need to tell him.
I am thinking of sending a text just explaining why I said it and how the feelings will go and our friendship will remain, and how we were good friends long before any of this started to happen. I wish he would tell me how he feels betrayed and all this, I think he feels that if he explains this, it enters relationship territory - as if we're in a relationship, but I want to let him know that we only need to talk about it once, then hopefully move past it. I need to stop repeating myself and clinging onto him for emotional support - I want to let him know I'm getting help, I'm seeking emotional support from other people, and that he has nothing to be worried about.

Thanks again guys for your responses, I've read them all and they've been great help.

Now I'll be a nice guy :biggrin: .

Perhaps he's including you in these texts and responding quickly to your texts, because he may be thinking about reconciling?

It could be a stretch, but candidly, if I were mad at someone or cut-ties with someone, they'd be ignored or cut-off completely, so there's a possibility.

I doubt he'll come running back for forgivness, but there's a chance he may want to talk it out.

It's not selfish to want to express your ideas, thoughts and feelings, but there's always a time an a place to do so. He's probably not so much betrayed by the fact that you were so close and that you told him you liked him, but the fact that you weren't honest upfront and just kinda blurted it out, making it seem like this was a recent discovery.

If he was there for your times of need, then I'm sure he would've appreciated a little heads up, or for you to atleast have brought the subject up before hand, without making it personal, just so you can see where he stands.

I really can't say for sure. People are unpredictable sometimes, so I'd just say; Be there for him, like he was for you. It doesn't even have to be a gay thing, just so long as you listen to him and his problems and what not. And if he lets you, you may even resume from where you left off. :biggrin:

And yes, it's best not to put all of your emotional drama on one person, as they have their own to deal with anyway. I'm glad your getting the support that you want .

[Dean]

if i were you i would not tell him i liked him.

[semicharmed]

Hi guys, an update about the situation.

He stopped ignoring me, came up to me on a night out and told me that he was sorry for the way he was acting, that he knew I was going through some shit and that he was there for me. I was really happy about this, and for the next few days it was kind of back to normal. He was talking to me, but I still felt this awkwardness.
I apologised to him a couple times about it all, and he just said "it's fine, it's fine".
Now I've left uni and we left on an ok note, although it seemed reluctant he gave me a hug good bye. I'm still not sure though. I've sent a group text to all of my house about the football, which I'm not really interested in but thought I would anyway, and out of everyone bar one, he was the only one not to reply. I know this sounds petty but i'm not sure how to interpret the situation. I just want to maintain the casual side but this can't be done if he doesn't keep in contact. Usually I'd be able to ring him up for a general chat but I don't know if he'd want that and don't want to push it. I will see him again at graduation in a week, considering giving him a ring just to see what his plans are. I don't want to smother him but I just want to be able to see everything is going ok.

[BabyPolarBear]

At least your on better terms now. Just like when you first told him he probably has to get used to the idea of you gitting gay but just like before he was able to still be your friend

[BabyPolarBear]

LOL "gitting" gay meant to say binging gay :redface:

[Rainbowmum]

Give him time to adjust.