The "Muscle" Culture

[ATXtoLA]

There's a muscle culture in every major city. Whether theyre gay or not. I would say the hetero muscles are nicer and more down to earth than say, a muscle head in the gay culture.

I think there is a .gif floating around with the caption "I don't go to the gym to be healthy, I go to look good naked." And it's some ladie, like Amy Poehler or something... someone find the animation please! :-)

[pellaz]

a lot of responses for this thread and i have not read but the first page, so if i repeat some one sorry.

you have to excuse them:
it takes a LOT of effort to get any type of muscle gains at the gym, especially w/o drugs. It is a life long effort, especially for the older gays. For example; you walk into a supermarket and cant buy 99% of what is on the shelves, go to a restaurant and cant eat anything on the menu. Cant drink anything. You dont want any of this junk food in your home, the temptation is through the roof. In short difficult to associate with other people. How would you NOT want a supportive partner on this?

There is a post here that 70% of the US population is way over weight. With in the range of statistical error there are several countries that are close runners up.

Guys make up your minds where you stand here?

[East]

One of the most bizarre people I ever bartended with was this muscle guy named Patrick. I thought he was hideous and gross (mostly because of WHO he was..not what he looked like). He would spend alot of time developing his physique and an equal amount of time in the mirror admiring himself and talking about it. He made my skin crawl (really...I would get the heebie jeebies when he talked to me)....

...and I am not sure if it was because of him or not but when I saw muscle guys after that I was never turned on to them until this one really sexy muscled black guy and then I realized what it was....it wasn't the muscles or lack thereof...it was the attitude. He was really sexy because he was humble and real and confident...not an a**hole. I also had one of the best nights of my life with him and I don't have muscles so I am not sure about the theory that muscle guys only like other muscle guys.I actually had alot of muscled guys hit on me. I worked in gay nightclubs and saw alot of the muscle guys and I did notice they were often friends with each other but I never noticed that they only dated each other.

Muscles can be sexy if the person is sexy (sexy meaning WHO they are..not what they look like)

[mrk2010]

If they're so shallow that they only date according to looks, they definitely don't have any sort of brain that I'd envy.

Basically what I was trying to say was not all guys who go to the gym and look after themselves are shallow. Personally for a guy to keep my interest he must be interesting, be able to converse, have a decent mind, be kind and be able to carry themselves in a confident manner. If they happen to be good looking it's a bonus. To be honest I'm finding this thread a bit stereotypical you could easily flip the argument to anyone who is carrying a bit extra weight is a fat lazy slob who doesn't care about their appearance or how they carry themselves. all I'm trying to say is look at the person on the inside without judging the outside. A perfect example would be one of my lecturers, if I saw her out in the street I would say "hairdresser" by the way she dresses, the heels, the dress and the hair extensions. Now if you asked her what her job is she's a virologist and at the too of her field. All I'm saying is people can be surprised once the stereotypes are broken . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[BeautifulBlue]

My point of this thread wasn't to make it a war against the muscle guys. Like many have already said here, there are a lot of guys who are nice, humble and hella good to other people, even those who don't look like them.

The reason I made the club was to ask about the specific muscle culture I was talking about -- i.e, the guys who will ONLY date guys who look huge, buff, etc. I've been extremely saddened by some of the behavior in my own community (I've seen guys completely blown off and then laughed at by other guys after they tried to make moves on these guys,) so it's more depressing than anything.

Again, I wasn't trying to cause a divide.

Also, editing this to add: I have a friend (not a GREAT friend, but a pretty cool guy) who's one of those guys who works out/runs a lot and he's pretty much the sweetest, nicest little Latino guy EVER. I know ALL guys who work out aren't dicks. I'm just saying there's a high percentage (at least here in Austin, anyway) that are.

[pellaz]

... wasn't to make it a war against the muscle guys ...

didnt think you were.
just think tho its a huge effort to do that to your body when 70% of Americans are clinically over weight.

[Ind]

But you get those kind of people everywhere, don't you?

Some go to the gym and think they are better than others.
Some have attended a posh uni and think that they are better than others.
Some have the perfect haircut and only designer clothes and they think they are better that others.
Some have a job that pays $$$ and they think they are so much better than others.

It doesn't even matter gay or straight, you get those people everywhere in small towns and big cities. I personally:

I'd leave them to date each other and go find someone with a brain.

:biggrin:

[azulai]

See I think thisis where you have to be careful. I go to the gym 5-6 times a week and on top of that if I can be bothered run. I say if anyone wants to go to the gym a lot good on them, I'd rather be doing that than sit on my arse all day and be lazy lol and as for not having a brain, don't judge a book by its cover, you might find that these people are highly qualified or might be in a better field of work than yourself lol

I want to echo a bit what mrk is saying here.

As I struggled with self-acceptance, I directed all my anger and hatred at myself. It took a while to figure out what I was doing, how to love myself, how to accept myself and break free of the self destruction.

Actually, running and cycling played a large part of freeing me from my battle. Challenging myself through exercise became the best thing for me. I put a lot of my energy into only doing good things to my body.

I do have an acquaintance who was bullied and always the smallest guy in high school. He has built himself up because he struggles with self-image and that fear of being defenseless.

While I don't pump iron, I am not about to criticize those that do. Maybe some of us are overcoming demons, and we've traded addictions? Maybe it's not purely for aesthetic reasons, but someone's way to cope? Maybe it's something some of us have stumbled upon that we cling to rather than drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, self-harm or suicide?

eta: As far as a dating culture:
My bf and I run together three times a week. It's one of our common interests that we share and a set date for us. We are both very active guys. Our areas of study are pretty demanding with HOURS indoors so we both share a need to be outdoors. We also support each other in our diets. We don't eat any junk food.

I knew before I started dating anyone that I couldn't date someone who expected me to watch a movie on the couch every Friday night. If any of you wants to judge me feel free, but I knew what my needs were and one of them was an active partner. (That doesn't mean I don't like to snuggle!)

There was this post one time here about dating and I was suggesting picnics and bike rides and someone else posted not to do such things because these activities would cause one to SWEAT! That always struck me as hilarious! My bf and I have biked and played basketball for dates. We get home and we smell ripe.

I guess I see nothing wrong with "muscle" guys wanting to date other guys that understand and respect their commitment.

Peace.

[mrk2010]

While I don't pump iron, I am not about to criticize those that do. Maybe some of us are overcoming demons, and we've traded addictions? Maybe it's not purely for aesthetic reasons, but someone's way to cope? Maybe it's something some of us have stumbled upon that we cling to rather than drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, self-harm or suicide

I think you said this perfectly :-) it gives you a goal, something to focus on which is positive and getting rid of negativity in a constructive manner. The whole reason I do all the martial arts stuff is to give me discipline and control which also gives me confidence.

[princealbertofb]

Knee or a toe to the nads - the bigger they are the harder they bawl - I mean fall....

Don't ask how I know - its really a sad story.

Bowyn, trust me to ask for the story :tongue: ! Is it a sad one? Or, in retrospect, is it rather funny? You've said too much not to let it all out now.