Should I persue my friend for more?

[az1smith]

Hello, I am also a guy who has been interested in one of my friends for about a year now. In the beginning I would always do whatever he wanted and realized I didn't want to be used. During this school year, we would flirt a lot but he also became a player with girls, but I noticed he would do it to boost his image and did not seem to have any interest in them. Although we're both straight, and no one suspects otherwise, I dropped hints that I was not interested in girls and when he would ask if I was gay I would say "none of your business". Besides the norm like a lot of eye contact, one time he asked me what're I'd like to give him a rimjob jokingly while we were alone. Another time, he said he had a strange bump on his pelvis and wanted me to feel it, when I refused he moved my hand down there. Recently I have become annoyed with him because he makes out with girls in public (although he's never had a gf) and is always commenting on how hot they are. Last time we went out, I got into an argument with him the next day about why he tries to impress all our jock friends by hooking up with girls he doesn't like. The convo ended with " I'll hook up with more, you just watch" like he was trying to make me jealous. I have no interest in apologizing but still have feeling for him. Any advice?

[Sylph]

Hi welcome.

It sounds so confusing and I'm only a year older than you .

I love drama, but that's just alittle too much for me. I think it best not to read so much into things that cannot be confirmed. Perhaps he's confused? Your confused? Heck, I'm alittle confused :confused: .

It sounds to me like, he's not very sure of himself and is "experimenting".

I've been in a situation similar, and though we got together[not sexually, luckily for me], it ended because he didn't know what he wanted and was mad that I was moving up and he felt left out and behind.

I say take things step by step. He may not even be gay, or Bi, but just curious and is "feeling" his way around his sexuality. Trust me, I understand, you just want it to happen and preferably sooner than later, but you have to just take it slow.

Becareful and decisive with your actions, not everything is as it seems in regards to your or even my observations.

Personally, I like to just ask flat out or something, and if he says yes/no, then I''ll go from there. If a guy get's mad because you asked him, then whatever, that's just water off my back.

I asked one of my friends if he was gay[at the time, I thought him straight, cause he's not feminine, like myself], because I noticed him looking at other guys, and he actually just said yes. Just like that.

But some guys may react harshly. You just have to say, okay. It's nothing you can do, really...

But I stick to my guns; take it slow, step by step and be wary until sure I say. Who knows, you may end up with a boyfriend, or you may just stay friends or not, eitherway, you can't have expectations, because you want or think you want something.

Hope it works out sweetie .

[az1smith]

I guess I'm just frustrated. I mean last week we decided to see a movie, just the two of us, but no one made a move and it was just a let down. So how do I try to further out relationship? One time when we were alone I put my legs on top of his and he was like "gay" and left the room. So yeah I'm thinking that maybe he's confused? Thanks so much

[Sylph]

I guess I'm just frustrated. I mean last week we decided to see a movie, just the two of us, but no one made a move and it was just a let down. So how do I try to further out relationship? One time when we were alone I put my legs on top of his and he was like "gay" and left the room. So yeah I'm thinking that maybe he's confused? Thanks so much

Well, a movie doesn't always induce a romantic reaction, sorry to say :frown: .

Perhaps too soon for the leg? mile: If he is indeed confused, it's best not to push and prod and try to make something of it, that it's not. You could produce the opposite of what you want, and could confuse him even further or possibly drive him away.

It's best,again, to take it slow and let it progess naturally.

The best things in life, are the things you have to wait for .

Also, we're teens still, we have a long time to figure things out and gain experience and knowledge, something we don't normally see, unless shown, so that's something you should also keep in mind, if things don't go the way you hope/plan.

[az1smith]

Okay so in terms of the fight were in now, Im not going to apologize because I'm always the one that does and hes said some things that made me upset. But he's going out of the country next month and his last message was " you see how many girls I'll hook up with, then you'll be sorry" so should I just wait it out? Maybe being separate for a while is a good thing.

[Sylph]

Okay so in terms of the fight were in now, Im not going to apologize because I'm always the one that does and hes said some things that made me upset. But he's going out of the country next month and his last message was " you see how many girls I'll hook up with, then you'll be sorry" so should I just wait it out? Maybe being separate for a while is a good thing.

I think so as well.

It sound like he's over-compensating for something, so perhaps time apart will do the heart fonder :biggrin: .

[dfiant]

G Day and welcome to Gayspeak.

First of all, confusion is part and parcel of being a teenager. Second of all, it sounds like your friend is uncomfortable with his sexuality. He may very well be straight, or he maybe gay and want to be straight, he hasn't figured that out yet so just leave him to figure that out for himself.

As for the fight. Let him go off and have his shananigans, don't be affected by it. Just be cool and don't let it bother you.

[Dean]

it is very dangerous to think other people are gay because the more you think the more they look like what you think they are.

it is very hard to take a risk by coming out to your friend or ask if your friend is gay. so time will tell. it is not that good to ruin a friendship either. you just need not to be in such a hurry to find out this or that.

you can also put some gay magazine somewhere he can see(watch his reaction) or search for his profile or watch his behaviour. that might give some clue.

and people around your age are more curious about the gay world so maybe later he will be. who knows.

[zeon]

ello,
By the sounds of it his playing games personally id say sod him and ignore him til he comes running back and when he does tell him u dont want him to go trying to boost his ego because whats he want a medal or a chest to pin it on? either of which he may not have lol

[worknlife]

I have to say that in your teens your emotions and motives for doing things can be all over the place. And a rule of thumb I always use is that once someone is placed into my friend column then that’s where they stay… a friend. As for his ‘making out’ with girls…. that’s his purgative, taking such a personal stand on it means that you are taking a personal stand on it and are letting your emotions do the talking. I have to agree with Dean and say it is very dangerous to assume someone’s sexuality. I would apologize to him because you and him are not an item.................. so you really don’t have the right to interject on who he makes out with…. Just tread lightly on your apology and only tell him that you ‘stepped over a line’ I hope this helps.