Went to a gay bar for the first time

[behrens2001]

I went to a gay bar/club for the first time last weekend in nyc and I didnt enjoy it at all..

first, it was really weird for me...that was the first thing related to gay that i've ever done in public in my entire life and I didnt even know how i should behave or talk..I just stood there, curiously looking at everybody (not really that creepy, but pretty up there, haha)..

second, guys there seemed to know each other really well (pk, not everybody but at least as a small group), and I just couldnt find anyone to talk to..i am usually very outgoing but at that bar i just became so shy that I stood at one corner and drank myself for the most of the time there...really frustrated...

So can anyone help me with this situation? I dont really know what was my goal of going there...making friends? cruising? Feel a different atmosphere? I dont know..everything just seemed so new and unknown to me that I dont know what I should do.. I have some gay friends but none of my friends know that i am gay..guess thats the first issue i need to solve..sigh..

Thanks!! Love u

P.S has anyone been to the Cock bar in NYC?

[BellyNel]

Join the club! I have never been to a gay bar before either.

I was invited to Lucky Strike New York for bowling last month. I was invited by my gay ex-coworker to join him and his other hot friends,

My coworker was the only one there that I knew, and he invited me along with several other gay friends of his. Apparently that night, all his gay friends invited other gay friends to come along. I got a severe complex that night. I was THE ONLY SHORT, OUT OF SHAPE, AND UGLY gay guy in that room. I couldn't talk to him that night, since he had his arms and legs around his other friends all night, and me sitting there like a schmuck waiting for my turn to bowl. So I just stared and discretly gawked at his hot friends and other people there.

I would love to go to a gay bar one day, but not alone. Never been to the Cock Bar, heard of it before, but went to the karaoke bar Second on Second right near there.

[fenris]

It´s not a must to feel good in the gay scene

I was a few times in a gay bar ... it´s not my thing. I don´t like the complete situation ... same at gay saunas, gay clubs and so on ....

We have in Hamburg and Bremen ( other towns, too ...but I know just this to town from their gay-side ) some gay cafe´s and some gay Restaurants ... thats really nice. Maybe you are more a gay-cafe´-type *G

I don´t like the combination of bar, sauna, darkroom etc.... for a very simple reason : If I go to have a drink .. I just want a drink .... not sex in a darkroom. I want to talk with people..not select my next sex-partner..... If I want a darkroom I call my man or / and a good friend ... go to my bedroom and switch off the light *G

To be gay does not mean to like the complete gay-stuff..... to wear the same cap does not mean that we are friends:-)

[dfiant]

I have been to 2 gay bars and never will go to another one again. Yes they are all clicky and make you feel like an outsider and I have no tolerance for that in any community. You walk past them to get a drink and they look down their nose at you as if you are intruding on their territory.

With the drugs and the flaming fucking queers, they can have the bars to themselves, I feel far more comfortable and welcome in a pub.

[monk]

I have some gay friends but none of my friends know that i am gay..guess thats the first issue i need to solve..sigh..

At least let your gay friends know you're gay, then maybe next time you can all go out together?

[mihai]

i went in amsterdam in a gay bar , i can say it was pretty funny , they ahd tequila contests and stuff ... was ok . people were very talkative and stuff . But i went in Koln at another bar , and they were all staring from above like they were gods and stuff. Try goin in amsterdam or in pubs , people a lot friendlier in pubs

[pellaz]

... I dont really know what was my goal of going there...making friends? cruising? Feel a different atmosphere ...

The establishment was not as expected, maybe just the evening you went. If a bar is trying to get new people in with live music, 2for1, than you might see un attached new people. It is good you go and try, it might force you to pay more detailed attention to your self.

Generally a straight man cant be platonic friends with a single girl. Same with gay men.

[TheButchQueen]

Its a process friend. The gay bar scene is just that, its a scene, one aspect of gay life. It's not for everyone, but think you handled it the way you should have for your first time, just as a spectator. Eventually you will make friends, but most boys who go out to the bars are part of that scene and know one another. If you keep showing up and keep making yourself available then you'll eventually meet people, and may well enjoy the bar scene. I still love to go out on occasion, but not as much as i did in my 20's. Enjoy it for what it is, and dont over think it. Eventually you may well find yourself in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by a bunch of hot men

[matty7]

i did go to the nightclub that has a gay night...within 5 mins of been in there was a huge fight where it too 3 very big bouncers to throw out a very big girl having a fight... man she was tough ..wasnt really my scene at all though, too many people trying to be as outrageous and camp as they could be - felt a little false

[TheButchQueen]

You may find the gay bar scene is not for you at all and thats ok. I have friends who hate the bar scene. So don't get frustrated if thats the case for you also, there are many other ways to meet guys and have fun.