'I'm so poor/I'm dreading running out of money/I wish I had more money.'

[BeautifulBlue]

I really didn't want to post this thread unless I had to, but... it's getting ridiculous.

Anyhow, my living situation is as follows: I live rent-free with my roommates and support myself with my own income. This comes in terms of my writing and pays for my medical bills, my prescriptions, my food, etc. This past month I had a health scare which drained my income, so I've had to rely on government aid in the form of medical assistance/etc., and some family and friends (which aren't my roommates.)

Now... contrary to the title of this post, I MYSELF am not complaining about being poor. It's my roommate.

My roommate, like myself, is a writer, but she makes a substantial amount more than I do. Basically, she's made five-hundred-and-fifty dollars off her writing this month in eleven days. This is from eBook sales only. I don't know how much she's made in paperbacks, but I imagine it' around one-hundred, which makes her total for the eleven days of the month come up to around six-hundred/seven-hundred dollars.

However -- due to a publisher not getting back to her, she's been having to support herself through self-publishing, which she (and I) get paid for at the end of each month. So, they've been having to live 'poorly' for the past few months.

This wouldn't be an issue... if my roommate did not bring up how poor she was a dozen times a day.

I get that she has no money. I know that. She says, 'I wish I had more money,' or, 'I need to sell more books,' or, 'I wish this publisher would get back to me,' those manner of things. That's understandable, because I understand her frustration. BUT, there's a problem here--a double-edged sword, per se.

She and her husband:

- Eat fast food all the time. Not dollar food. Food that costs three or four dollars an item. They also order fries (usually large,) large drinks, etc. This usually comes out to about twenty dollars per purchase for them.

- Eat out all the time. This usually comes to about forty dollars for both of them.

- See movies fairly occasionally. Eight dollars for two of them comes out to sixteen.

- Spend money on stupid shit. She personally spends money on things like handbags, purses, jewelry, overt amounts of makeup, books, video games, that sort of thing. Her husband is also into tabletop gaming and he buys models ALL the time. These range anywhere from twenty, to thirty, forty, fifty, sixty dollars at a time.

- Along with her husband's tabletop gaming habit, he also goes to game every Thursday (and apparently now every Wednesday) night. This involves driving my gas-guzzling vehicle to the gaming place. He also usually goes to eat afterward, which wastes more gas going to eat. Then he spends money there. Then he comes back home, and sometimes he takes friends home.

As a final note, her husband doesn't work.

They've told me that I'm going to have to help them a little bit, and I'm fine with that, because I'll be able to. However -- a few months back, her husband mentioned me giving them my ENTIRE check, which I did not respond to (and which I wouldn't do anyway.)

I have a few problems with this whole 'money situation' of theirs. They claim to be super poor, but they're constantly spending money on stupid shit (eating out, going to movies, buying handbags, models, etc., wasting gas to go game and that sort of thing,) which is only feeding into their 'poverty.' My roommate (the writer) is constantly complaining about this, and whenever she mentions anything to her husband, he goes on a tirade about how the 'full time writer thing isn't working' and then complains about him getting a job himself (which he has a hard time with because he has depression.)

Like I said, I support myself fully with my writing, as I cannot work due to my Bipolar Disorder, and though I do live here for free, I take care of myself. I also do website maintenance, book formatting (print and digital,) promotional work and attend events with this one roommate. I've also been playing her driver because she's been 'too poor to go get her eyes checked' the entire year. I also, since they're both so lazy they don't clean: take out the trash constantly, clean up after them, their animals (their dog pisses and shits everywhere,) run to the store for them, get food for them, that sort of thing.

I, essentially, play houseboy, along with being my roommate's assistant.

Like I said -- there wouldn't be an issue with this if they were REALLY poor. The fact of the matter is, they spend money recklessly and without abandon (making themselves poor,) her husband doesn't work and whenever she complains about it, he freaks out, goes into 'depressive phases' where he just lays in bed and does nothing all day, that sort of thing. I don't mean to trivilize their problems or maximize my own, but I've been living at the below-poverty level for two years. I've gone months even this year (when my income has picked up) where I've only had twenty-five dollars the whole month.

Anyhow.... I guess my question is: what should I do/how should I respond to this? And what should I say if they try to take my check?

The most straightforward and simple thing to do would be to move out, but I can't because I don't make enough to live alone/I have no one else to live with. I also do not have social security as of now, so I can't depend on that.

Do you guys have any advice?

Sorry for the long post. I thought I'd explain my situation in full. I'm getting tired of her whole 'I'm poor' game when they spend money constantly. I MYSELF am the one who is poor and I MYSELF do not complain like she does. I barely even mention it at all to anyone.

[spencer]

I had the same issues with my roommates kinda. They always complained about having no money when they were constantly spending money on worthless crap and eating about almost everyday, buying alcohol ever few days, no less than once or twice a week. I never called them out on it because it's their money as long as they get the bills and rent paid I don't care. But their lack in caring about saving money caused high bills and I when I tried to addressed the issue it didn't go down well and I moved out. I was also in a money bind, I had the usually utilities and rent on top of medical bills and needing to save up for things. When I mentioned my situation, I was sorta blown off. Since your roommates seem to be similar to mine I wonder if it will fall out the same but I don't know them so I don't know how they would respond. I would guess during the next time you the "I'm so poor" thing from them perhaps just kindly say, "Well eat out less?" or something.

Also don't let them take your check, if they try then well I mean it's YOUR check how would they possibly be able to cash it themselves? So you say no, and if they do anything crazy like trying to steal it I would strongly advise not living with them because that would be a huge red flag. The fact that they ask it for it is kinda crazy. I probably wouldn't keep around friends that asked for my check but then again I get a little crazy when it comes to money issues.

From just what you've written it kinda looks like they're trying to take advantage of you because you're being nice and letting them, I experienced the same thing, I spent a couple hundred dollars at least buying things for the apartment saw nothing in return and the one time I asked for to split for something thing I got a rather rude response.

All this ended in me living and us on horrible terms. It took several months before I was back on speaking terms with them and one of them even stopped talking to me again when she realized I had no intentions of moving back in with them. I bother to tell you this just because I see so many similiarities and don't want you to have the same outcome I did. My situation may have turned out better if there was more communication, and more understanding of each other's situations. I would call for a house meeting to discuss the matters, have everyone agree to not interrupt and to listen to each other. You can only do much but if you guys rely on each other as roommates to have a place to live you should definately do your best to work out and best sooner than later before too much negative energy builds up.

[WheresTheLove]

Just gonna say that I hate living in a poor country. -.-

[Bowyn Aerrow]

My neighbor screams my nickname occasionally 'The Cripple Next Door' Technically I am eligible and have been eligible for disability for nearly ten years.

I wake up in pain and go to bed in agony. The options for me is not if I'm going to be in pain today, its how much pain I am willing to be in today. I get winter depression and summer hypo-mania too - I still work, I still maintain an income.

Sure, recently with my truck throwing a rod through its oil pan I haven't worked much since most of the jobs I could muster require a truck to haul tools and materials, but even now I'm taking on a few small jobs and using the car.

The idea of collecting a disability check to me sounds too much like giving up.

So excuse me if I do not understand why it is he can't get out and get a job? Depressed? Not too depressed to go a gambling. IF he was too depressed to go to work, then he is too depressed to go out gambling.

You need to move back to your parents, or someplace. This is not a good situation. He has his wife trained and thinks he is going to train you too.

Granted, you got a semi-good deal there with 'free' rent.

But what is the hidden costs? The real price for living there is to what? Be a house boy/Slave - another one of his hos?

Sounds like he is a user.

Mind you can't change their relationship and you can't change their spending habits. The only thing you can do is change your location.

[BeautifulBlue]

You need to move back to your parents, or someplace. This is not a good situation. He has his wife trained and thinks he is going to train you too.

I don't have sex with either of my roommates, just as an FYI. A lot of people think that's one of the 'perks' of me living with them.

Honestly, I'd be all gung-ho about moving back in with my parents, but the whole reason I moved out in the first place is because my dad's a crazy psychotic alcoholic and my mom isn't much better (she's not psychotic, but she's overly emotional and very manipulative.) I was abused by both of my parents in varying degrees, so that's a no-no.

I should also add that he doesn't 'gamble.' When I said 'tabletop game,' I meant like... wargaming. Kinda like chess but with figurines that shoot each other, that sort of thing.

[Rainbowmum]

(I apologize in advance if my post offends anyone ,it is not meant to .This is just my opinion.)

I am going to get right to the point on this one.

You are being used son !
And this guy is a pro at it,things are only going to get worse.

You are the one who decides how people treat you , it's up to you.

Do you think he was joking around when he suggested taking your whole pay check?
I assure you he wasn't , he was testing the waters, more accurate he was testing your desperation level.

What you need to do is start squirreling away some cash , even if it's just $10.00 here or there.
Make sure you save it in a bank and keep this to yourself.

The other thing you can do is get paid for all you do ,Butler/ cleaner/driver/pet carer.
Keep your eyes on the papers , you never know your luck.

When you are living with sharks always have a back up plan.
Wishing you luck .

[dfiant]

damn...those that have a crippling mortgage and need to run a car must be living on easy street in comparison...how nice it would be to have no commitments and earn roughly $300 a week for doing something that you LOVE doing...rather than getting a real paying job and moving along in life.

Sorry, zero sympathy for those that cry poor, personal experience those that cry hardest are usually the ones than CAN change their circumstances but are just too busy freeloading on others.

I know mum likes to apologise before offending and I love her for that

But matters like this, I don't care who I offend

PS I understand Blue is talking about somone else and anything I have said is not directed at beautifulblue

[BeautifulBlue]

damn...those that have a crippling mortgage and need to run a car must be living on easy street in comparison...how nice it would be to have no commitments and earn roughly $300 a week for doing something that you LOVE doing...rather than getting a real paying job and moving along in life.

No, I perfectly agree with you. I am VERY thankful for the money I make from my writing. I don't resent and/or jinx it at all. Sure -- I would love to have more sales, but I don't look at my total amount and go, 'I need to make more money,' if you get what I mean.

And Rainbowmum--you didn't offend me. No worries. I plan to start squirreling away money here shortly. I would've started this last month, but medical bills and having to buy food ate ALL of my money.

[warmpixels]

Just gonna say that I hate living in a poor country. -.-

Getting by is considered rich, really, what with the entire world going through painful convulsions from a crippled economy.

BeautifulBlue, I think you'll manage adequately for short term problems with most of the advice from others, but you should plan for long term solutions too.

If you think it'll work, ask for support from your family, perhaps a monthly stipend for a couple of months or so.

I've had really bad Bipolar Disorder for about 10 years, and I managed to, well, deal with it to an extent that I can function and work quite well outside without medication, except for emergencies.

It's a nice thing to be a writer - even I am - but writing is something that makes someone very reclusive, and you might want to have a day job, not just for the money, but also for the interaction.

[BeautifulBlue]

Getting by is considered rich, really, what with the entire world going through painful convulsions from a crippled economy.

BeautifulBlue, I think you'll manage adequately for short term problems with most of the advice from others, but you should plan for long term solutions too.

If you think it'll work, ask for support from your family, perhaps a monthly stipend for a couple of months or so.

I've had really bad Bipolar Disorder for about 10 years, and I managed to, well, deal with it to an extent that I can function and work quite well outside without medication, except for emergencies.

It's a nice thing to be a writer - even I am - but writing is something that makes someone very reclusive, and you might want to have a day job, not just for the money, but also for the interaction.

My family can't give me money. They're poor.

As to the day job thing, it would be more feasible were one of my adverse side effects to stress not violence. I have really bad fight/flight instincts due to being abused as a child and if I can't get out of a situation, I get really violent. Normally I can contain it, but if people push me enough it gets bad.

I should probably add that that isn't just a foolproof reason to get out of working. I always feel down on myself for not having a real job, but I consider my college experience and how I couldn't even handle that (stress, anxiety attacks, dealing with unruly people, etc.) and try not to beat myself up over it.