07-24-2012, 05:03 PM
Guys who are looking for sexual encounters usually are only looking for sexual encounters.
Age 30 is 'Saturn's Return' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn_return. There is a bit of real psychology behind this phenomena, people change with time and our lives are dissected into greater 'eras' where we undergo a lot of change.
Currently you are in the cusp of your 'Return' - and most of the guys you are dating are just entering it. In three years time if you are dating/befriending guys closer to your age you are going to find that a lot more of them are going to be looking at their life and viewing settling down as a real viable option.
Age 30 tends to mark a mile stone of maturity for most people. We become painfully aware that our 'childhood' really has ended, we have had a decade of real adulthood (being an adult) full of experiences, and we start feeling mortality breathing down our necks.
Your wanting a kid is fine, but I suspect that you are more turned on to the idea of not being alone than in being a parent. You are in a delicate place, and until you resolve this 'alone vs relationship' issue inside of you, taking on the work of raising a child mayn't be the very best thing for you.
I entered into my currently 14 year relationship when I was 32 This followed a period of about 2 1/2 years of being in a self-imposed 'single prison' where I refused to date, refused to entertain the idea of a relationship until men grew up and started to behave. :tongue:
That period was self imposed because I got sick and tired of the game playing, sick and tired of all of the sexual games guys were willing to play just to score another conquest, and frankly my last relationship broke me in ways that non other had achieved - it stole my hope.
During that period I threw myself into doing things for myself, by myself and laying out the rest of my life as a single person.
The best laid plans of mice and men.... I met a guy 6 months younger than me (were we both 32 at the time) and he had pretty much reached the same point I had, we both were on the same page and a relationship developed out of what was first a friendship.
Age does play a large role in how people think about themselves, their place in the world and even how the world works.
Age 30 is 'Saturn's Return' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn_return. There is a bit of real psychology behind this phenomena, people change with time and our lives are dissected into greater 'eras' where we undergo a lot of change.
Currently you are in the cusp of your 'Return' - and most of the guys you are dating are just entering it. In three years time if you are dating/befriending guys closer to your age you are going to find that a lot more of them are going to be looking at their life and viewing settling down as a real viable option.
Age 30 tends to mark a mile stone of maturity for most people. We become painfully aware that our 'childhood' really has ended, we have had a decade of real adulthood (being an adult) full of experiences, and we start feeling mortality breathing down our necks.
Your wanting a kid is fine, but I suspect that you are more turned on to the idea of not being alone than in being a parent. You are in a delicate place, and until you resolve this 'alone vs relationship' issue inside of you, taking on the work of raising a child mayn't be the very best thing for you.
I entered into my currently 14 year relationship when I was 32 This followed a period of about 2 1/2 years of being in a self-imposed 'single prison' where I refused to date, refused to entertain the idea of a relationship until men grew up and started to behave. :tongue:
That period was self imposed because I got sick and tired of the game playing, sick and tired of all of the sexual games guys were willing to play just to score another conquest, and frankly my last relationship broke me in ways that non other had achieved - it stole my hope.
During that period I threw myself into doing things for myself, by myself and laying out the rest of my life as a single person.
The best laid plans of mice and men.... I met a guy 6 months younger than me (were we both 32 at the time) and he had pretty much reached the same point I had, we both were on the same page and a relationship developed out of what was first a friendship.
Age does play a large role in how people think about themselves, their place in the world and even how the world works.
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