07-21-2012, 09:07 PM
I'll try to make this a short thread.
I understand how and why most of the people they post on there are douchebags and are rude, mean, selfish, etc. whatever. BUT, I do have a problem with some of the "flaws" in other guys they point out (which is hypocritical in itself, since they hate guys who try to say other guys have flaws).
The whole "ageism" thing:
It usually doesn't exist. The people who cry "ageism!" are desperate, old horny men who want a young twink and get mad when the young guys don't like them back.
I remember one comment agreeing with me, saying "Well, I'm not gonna fuck a guy from my grandpa's retirement home!".
I mean, seriously. Those of us who want dates, friends with benefits, whatever probably want someone closer to our age that we can relate to. I usually don't see why having an age range is bad. Is it a bit judgemental? Yes. But also think of it this way: for those of us wanting long-term relationships, we want someone we can spend a long time with, not someone who will die within 5 years.
Usually the guys who get the most insults are like 35-40 looking for guys between 20-30. I can see how that is douchebaggery, since they're being a bit hypocritical, and are usually cocky and think that they're magical beings who don't age.
But otherwise... give it a rest. I'm gonna date guys near my age and that's that.
Not gonna go into the racism thing since that'd be beating a dead horse.
"No femmes":
Another dead horse, but I'll touch on it.
It's one thing to hate guys who are rude about it. But again, there's something that people will just shout "DOUCHEBAG!" at every guy who doesn't like feminine guys.
Again, guys think that you should give anyone a chance if they have a penis. A penis does not make me attracted to someone. I don't wanna see picture of a guy's dick, they don't do anything for me. We all know that dating is not just sexual arousal, it's also emotional attatchment as well.
You also have to realize that in that sense, sexuality is not just liking dicks or vaginas. We associate it with traits that we look for in people, which we associate with being attracted to someone.
Also, tell me how often you'd see a straight guy date a butch girl... or a straight girl date a femme guy. You really don't. Apparently, being a minority magically makes it where you're supposed to be attracted to things you just aren't?
My point is, while there's nothing wrong with people being themselves, regardless of gender, and people should respect that... don't expect everyone to be into femme guys.
Bodyism?:
I think that's the right term for it... the "no fats" thing or whatever.
Personally, I like chubby. But when I say chubby, I mean maybe a bit extra cushion... in the "overweight" range on the BMI scale. Once a guy gets to "obese", the attraction usually isn't there.
And honestly, I'm not attracted to really thin guys. They don't do anything for me.
Most of the complaints about this are guys who expect in-shape when they themselves are not. I agree that they're hyopcrites and understand the anger at that.
However, most people, of any sexuality, will not date someone who they think is lazy (despite obesity being a genetic condition), especially if they work to keep their body in decent shape. I know that there are some people who go after those with a lot of extra weight, but I'm pretty sure they're a small minority.
I like to go hiking sometimes. I like to keep myself walking at a decent pace. It's bad enough dealing with my handicapped dad when I go hiking with him... I don't want someone who has trouble walking to slow me down.
I think that covers most of the complains on there. Oh, and there are the guys with over-inflated egos, but, those are everywhere.
This is all stuff that has been said by many people before, but just thought I'd say it.
To sum this up:
~Ageism is perfectly called for 98% of the time
~Different people prefer different amount of masculinity and femininity
~And different body shapes as well, plus people with certain lifestyles may want someone with the same
However, I agree that people should not be mean about these things (or anything). There really isn't a way to put it in your profile without people saying you're a douchebag though. I will admit that saying "NO _______" is pretty rude and not to mention may exclude people that they may actually find that they like. The best way to go about it would be "usually prefer _______". Even then, you'll have people calling you a douchebag, but they could just be jealous of you.
Mostly just want any comments on the ageism thing, because most of the time, calling out others for it is annoying and uncalled for.
I understand how and why most of the people they post on there are douchebags and are rude, mean, selfish, etc. whatever. BUT, I do have a problem with some of the "flaws" in other guys they point out (which is hypocritical in itself, since they hate guys who try to say other guys have flaws).
The whole "ageism" thing:
It usually doesn't exist. The people who cry "ageism!" are desperate, old horny men who want a young twink and get mad when the young guys don't like them back.
I remember one comment agreeing with me, saying "Well, I'm not gonna fuck a guy from my grandpa's retirement home!".
I mean, seriously. Those of us who want dates, friends with benefits, whatever probably want someone closer to our age that we can relate to. I usually don't see why having an age range is bad. Is it a bit judgemental? Yes. But also think of it this way: for those of us wanting long-term relationships, we want someone we can spend a long time with, not someone who will die within 5 years.
Usually the guys who get the most insults are like 35-40 looking for guys between 20-30. I can see how that is douchebaggery, since they're being a bit hypocritical, and are usually cocky and think that they're magical beings who don't age.
But otherwise... give it a rest. I'm gonna date guys near my age and that's that.
Not gonna go into the racism thing since that'd be beating a dead horse.
"No femmes":
Another dead horse, but I'll touch on it.
It's one thing to hate guys who are rude about it. But again, there's something that people will just shout "DOUCHEBAG!" at every guy who doesn't like feminine guys.
Again, guys think that you should give anyone a chance if they have a penis. A penis does not make me attracted to someone. I don't wanna see picture of a guy's dick, they don't do anything for me. We all know that dating is not just sexual arousal, it's also emotional attatchment as well.
You also have to realize that in that sense, sexuality is not just liking dicks or vaginas. We associate it with traits that we look for in people, which we associate with being attracted to someone.
Also, tell me how often you'd see a straight guy date a butch girl... or a straight girl date a femme guy. You really don't. Apparently, being a minority magically makes it where you're supposed to be attracted to things you just aren't?
My point is, while there's nothing wrong with people being themselves, regardless of gender, and people should respect that... don't expect everyone to be into femme guys.
Bodyism?:
I think that's the right term for it... the "no fats" thing or whatever.
Personally, I like chubby. But when I say chubby, I mean maybe a bit extra cushion... in the "overweight" range on the BMI scale. Once a guy gets to "obese", the attraction usually isn't there.
And honestly, I'm not attracted to really thin guys. They don't do anything for me.
Most of the complaints about this are guys who expect in-shape when they themselves are not. I agree that they're hyopcrites and understand the anger at that.
However, most people, of any sexuality, will not date someone who they think is lazy (despite obesity being a genetic condition), especially if they work to keep their body in decent shape. I know that there are some people who go after those with a lot of extra weight, but I'm pretty sure they're a small minority.
I like to go hiking sometimes. I like to keep myself walking at a decent pace. It's bad enough dealing with my handicapped dad when I go hiking with him... I don't want someone who has trouble walking to slow me down.
I think that covers most of the complains on there. Oh, and there are the guys with over-inflated egos, but, those are everywhere.
This is all stuff that has been said by many people before, but just thought I'd say it.
To sum this up:
~Ageism is perfectly called for 98% of the time
~Different people prefer different amount of masculinity and femininity
~And different body shapes as well, plus people with certain lifestyles may want someone with the same
However, I agree that people should not be mean about these things (or anything). There really isn't a way to put it in your profile without people saying you're a douchebag though. I will admit that saying "NO _______" is pretty rude and not to mention may exclude people that they may actually find that they like. The best way to go about it would be "usually prefer _______". Even then, you'll have people calling you a douchebag, but they could just be jealous of you.
Mostly just want any comments on the ageism thing, because most of the time, calling out others for it is annoying and uncalled for.