Very Confused....People please advice

[fitzie010]

Dear reader,

So i am a gay man living in south asia. My age is 26 and i am seeing a guy who is 35. Now we have been seeing each other for 6 months now and recently i realized i am falling in love with him, however, he doesnt seem interested. He doesnt reciprocate the romance outside bed. In bed he is totally different and we have a great time together and we are not even seeing anyone else but he doesnt want to get into a relationship and he doesnt want to cut me out completely as well. It is a very big dilemma for me because i hardly click with someone that well. He is very caring and understanding but just would not reciprocate the love. To make it clear further he would never call. He would only message when i message and when i speak to him about it he would say 'ur a really nice person, i respect you, i am not seeing anyone else but i just cant get my self to feel the way u do, i have a great time with you etc' now how long would this go on for i dont understand. So can someone be kind enough to advice me what to do? whatever u do suggest kindly support it with ways to make that decision work.

[dfiant]

There is a saying 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'.

There is another 'You never realise what you have until it has gone.'

and another 'It takes 2 to tango'

And finally 'Set that person free, if he doesn't return he was never yours, if he does return then you can persue it'

See where I am going?

[fenris]

Hi and Welcome :-)

it seems for me that this guy is only interested in you as a bed-partner.
If he only reacts if you start a conversation or what ever he is - for my opinion - not interested in a relationship with you.
I don´t know enough about your situation .... but what I read shows me that you are looking for a relationship with a guy who is all-time-interested in you ...not even in bed ... I would search for a partner who is more like you ... interested and caring in and for you.

[fitzie010]

@dfiant: yes the quotes are very true...i see where you are going....thanks

[fitzie010]

@fenris: see thats where i am confused....i have been with him and not had sex many times....so he gives me the impression that he doesnt just think of me as a fuck buddy.....he would message as well when he knows m ticked off but then thats it....whenever i try talking to him about it he would change the topic...so basically yes i am the sort who would want to be involved....i would want to talk on the phone before going to bed (doesnt happen) or maybe hang out for dinner and stuff (doesnt happen) am i asking for too much? i mean if i can care soo much i do deserve some reciprocity dont i?

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

My dear young man you have two choices live with this situation... or end it.

[LatinCoffee]

You have to love yourself first. Try talking to your boyfriend--if it doesn't change. You have to set him free. Let it go!

[chillythoughts]

I feel he doesnt care and that hes using you. Id break it off immediately. you dont need someone like that in your life and bringing you down.

[Ind]

For me, it doesn't sound like he's using you for sex. It's difficult to tell not knowing all the circumstances.. Is he out? Do you guys face lots of homophobia in your daily lives? I somehow think that he's not ready to be anything more to you just because of something bugging him. It's like he's not letting himself fall for you.

Whatever the circumstances are, it's always good to keep on trying to talk about it. Maybe send him an email asking all these things? And next time you talk, ask him if he has had a chance to think about it.

Good luck, hope you manage to sort everything out mile:

[Rainbowmum]

Hello and welcome.
All of us come with baggage ,insecurities , scars and fears.
If he is worth waiting for , do not rush him , he may not be as comfortable as you are with his sexuality.

Give him some space and accept him for who he is , not for who you want him to be.
Unanswered expectations can be the downfall of a blossoming relationship.

We are all here for you , so keep us updated.