possible to be gay and no feminine traits

[Buffylo]

It's impossible to tell by people's traits. Only someone can tell you whether or not they are gay. I look like a biker, am only openly interested in "manly" stuff (trucks, guns, violent video games), so no one would be able to tell just by observing my normal activities that I'm into guys. lol

[ceez]

I'm on the masculine side too, I love sports, cars, violent video games/movies. I've also seen some feminine straight guys.

[Lilitu]

i know of one rugby or cricket player who was apparently gay and then a person got really confused and didn't understand the concept of gay. Then he was really cautious not to offend him and everyone else (since they had been told long ago) just laughed at the shenanigans.

[nikgee]

Pardon me for my ignorance here, but I am having a hard time relating to the thought that there is a must have form of behavior in order to be gay. So let me see if I understand this correctly. A gay person must display feminine traits in order to truly be gay? Soto fit in and be the real thing learn how to walk talk , and act different than what I am accustom too? What is that Shakespeare quote, TO THINE OWN HEART BE TRUE. That's kind of my own personal mantra.The straight world judges or views people as groups instead of as an individual. It must be a total world phenomenon. Really I am not trying to be a smart ass. I consider this a genuine important issue. I try my best just to be me.I am not here to put on a show or draw attention to myself. Now the area of coming out I haven't quite totally worked out yet, but as they stand right now. My sex life is personal and private. And it is none of your business unless I choose to share it. That's another thing this whole public confessional thing. When have you ever seen or heard a straight person having the need to confess the fact that he prefers to sleep with the opposite sex. . And I would think it rude to ask him. It is none of my business. Sorry if I might have gotten a bit off tract. I guess it has been weighing heavy on my mind. Maybe you or someone else has some light to shed in this area. I would love to hear it.

[East]

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Is it possible to be gay and not have any feminine traits?

YES!

Spend an afternoon at the Folsom Fair and see for yourself :biggrin:

[Buffylo]

Pardon me for my ignorance here, but I am having a hard time relating to the thought that there is a must have form of behavior in order to be gay. So let me see if I understand this correctly. A gay person must display feminine traits in order to truly be gay? Soto fit in and be the real thing learn how to walk talk , and act different than what I am accustom too? What is that Shakespeare quote, TO THINE OWN HEART BE TRUE. That's kind of my own personal mantra.The straight world judges or views people as groups instead of as an individual. It must be a total world phenomenon. Really I am not trying to be a smart ass. I consider this a genuine important issue. I try my best just to be me.I am not here to put on a show or draw attention to myself. Now the area of coming out I haven't quite totally worked out yet, but as they stand right now. My sex life is personal and private. And it is none of your business unless I choose to share it. That's another thing this whole public confessional thing. When have you ever seen or heard a straight person having the need to confess the fact that he prefers to sleep with the opposite sex. . And I would think it rude to ask him. It is none of my business. Sorry if I might have gotten a bit off tract. I guess it has been weighing heavy on my mind. Maybe you or someone else has some light to shed in this area. I would love to hear it.

I believe the biggest problem is humans are groupers. With thought, humans will group things into like-catagories out of habit. I mean, look at the world around us. There are plants and animals (groups) dogs and cats (groups). But people get confused. We have the Koala bear (not a bear, but a marsupial), the horned toad (a lizard). Then going further to other things. A peanut (which is neither a pea, nor a nut), a coconut (not a nut). Why are these things named such?

Like characterists.

People see something that shares characteristics with something they KNOW, and assume it is something similar to it. The mainstream image of a gay man is a feminine flamboyant over-the-top individual (thanks hollywood). When in reality being gay is just a trait.... just like anything else.

People assume bikers are all tatted up big brutes with narrow minds and bad attitudes, when reality is they're just everyday people like you and I.... who happen to take pleasure in their motorcycles.

People assume because you speak with a bit of a southern drawl that you're some uneducated hick from dumbtown, USA, when the reality is their are some above average to incredibly intelligent people who just so happen to talk like that.

They are just traits. You can't fault humans for trying to group other humans. Part of that comes from personal experience, and part of that comes from education. Hopefully the general populace becomes more educated and learns that being gay is just like being attracted to blondes or liking macaroni and cheese; it's not something you can identify by looking at someone's appearance. :tongue:

[57lambertr]

being gay isn't being feminine

[princealbertofb]

haha hey! first off, you're lucky I dont spell it Maxxx lol and second off, the first person to ever spell it Maxx was my ex GIRLfriend so gimme back my points there! hahaha

Sorry, gurl, you've lost those points;.. You'll have to earn your membership card back by doing something extraordinarily gay... and adding an X to your name won't count. :biggrin:

[pellaz]

... but I am having a hard time relating to the thought that there is a must have form of behavior in order to be gay. ... I consider this a genuine important issue. I try my best just to be me. ...

i think everyone is trying to accomplish that (just trying to be me). Its a moving target for most and nice to be aware of people who go down a different path than you might initially consider. There is (or was) a gay culture, maybe it is fading or changing as the younger men appear. Look at how the general culture is over written with straight sex. It is in everything we see, books, news, movies so its an open topic of conversation.

... but as they stand right now. My sex life is personal and private. And it is none of your business unless I choose to share it. That's another thing this whole public confessional thing. ...

There are instances that being out is the proper thing to do or just makes life easier:
-My gym partner is in his late 20's and straight married with a child. I think he should know i am gay should he not? for sure he will figure it out on his own no matter how i try to hide it.
-We are working on a project from hell at work. Everyone is on top of each other to get this out the door. I think its important to be judged on who you are not by rumor and innuendo. There is enough to worry about just now.
-i have a partner, we share our lives together. I will not say i dont know him in public just because it will upset the straights. this would not be sharing a life.
-i was in a straight marriage for 15years, so like back then, i will not resist holding hands or kissing in public. I dont love my husband less than my xwife.

... When have you ever seen or heard a straight person having the need to confess the fact that he prefers to sleep with the opposite sex. . And I would think it rude to ask him ...

-the straight population is like 95% so its quite logical to assume someone is straight. Just from a numbers point of view.
-last conversation with my daughter was along the lines she was hoping gay or straight she could find a person who will love her. So she might, as a potential date, ask if they are gay.
-there is a different relationship between a gay and straight people. 4example between a gay man and a straight lady (hag).

[princealbertofb]

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Is it possible to be gay and not have any feminine traits?

YES!

Spend an afternoon at the Folsom Fair and see for yourself :biggrin:

You almost beat me to my comment which was that there were tonnes of bears that couldn't look less feminine (and yet can display a very soft and tender nature, or the contrary) and reversely quite a lot of fierce, fierce females... I think it's maybe mistakenly construed that being masculine means not showing any tenderness.... But I think being tender and liking tenderness is built into the human gene (it's not a gender thing). Male forms of tenderness make me melt.... Do they work on you?