don't call me insane again .... just need a serious advice

[mihai]

So i went to this city event with my moms dude... He doesn't knows i'm gay, cause i don;t want him to judje me or intervene with my moms relationship.
My mom knows this. i called her after the event happened... went to buy a vokda cause gettin boored and a random dude asked me to go arround the corner cause he knows me... strange thing i don't know anyone from where i am. Went with him cause i am darn horny, back in romania was a easy job to get a 1 night stand but somehow i am sick of those things. So i went with this random dude and he kisssed me , i responsed and blabla... then he sudenly told me he is 33 , and i said i am 20 , he laughed and told me i am 28.made a joint, we both smoked, he told me we should get along and kissed me, i replied.. i laughed and showed my id ( 20 ) and he simply kissed me again and told me : meet you at the bar I never went back ... Does that means i am into older dudes? And if so, what should i prepare for? My longest relationship was for 3 years in highschool with a 25 y.o. ... By my way of thinking germany is not my country

[chillythoughts]

1 relationship doesnt determine your likes or dislikes. is there more info? you might be into older guys or maybe this was just a "fling". who knows.

[mihai]

He just wanted sex that's it... I refused him cause i am trying to focus on dudes my age :| Yeah it mights feel bad for some older dudes here... but i am sick of older dudes dramas Older dudes bring drama Corect me pls if i am wrong

[Pix]

Corect me pls if i am wrong

I'm only responding because you said to (seriously). :tongue:

In my observation the younger crowd is more into drama, more petty, more shallow, have unrealistic expectations (and upset when those expectations aren't met), have a lot more financial difficulties (sure fire drama right there), still experimental (including in sex & drugs) and have less impulse control.

That is, of course, a general statement, and I can easily think of exceptions to the rule both ways. Nevertheless, as a general rule, younger people are more likely to bring the drama than older people who have achieved some emotional & financial stability, have more direction, and have more realistic expectations.

Also to nitpick: young males have far more testosterone (as well as an undeveloped brain that tends not to fully develop until age 25, and this can be slowed even further by drugs & alcohol, that makes them less able to control their impulses) than older men so young men would be more likely to use people strictly for sex than older men. That said, because youth are so drama-filled and problematic most older people avoid them...but the minority (granted, a large one) that doesn't tend to only be interested in sex, because frankly, what else have the youth (in general) got to offer the significantly older besides good looks (and often easily manipulated and/or dumped)?

[ChadCoxRox]

mihai mihai mihai...somehow I suspect you are fishing for responses that you already know just for attention. Let me give you some attention friend. Please? I love how you are open enough to share your story with all its good and its bad "stuff". Being open to chat is the first step to making your future relationships better!

Age is not the issue. If you want to meet someone to have a longer-term relationship then you are already doing the right thing by trying to use good judgement in your interactions. But, just because you are very horny and meet someone spontaneous for sex and then choose not to is a bit confusing. I guess that you feel even more confused than it reads!!

You went with this guy, you were horny, you kissed more than once and then you chose not to have sex and use discussion of age to get out of the sex because you don't want to have sex with someone JUST because you're horny. Are you so lonely that you mistake a hookup for a potential relationship? Would you consider a relationship with someone you met who you knew was just there for a hookup? I'm not asking these questions for you to give me answers. Just adding seasoning to my attention friend.

You are only 20 so you have a nice long life ahead of you. You have plenty of time to both fulfill your sexual needs and prepare yourself to be a great partner for the right man some time. I would love to hear more of how you came to Germany from Sweden and where you'd prefer to be. I look forward to getting to know you better!

[Rainbowmum]

No it does not mean that at all, he was just a one night stand.
You were horny , he was there and willing , things happen.

Please play it safe , I am a bit worried about going off with a stranger.

[angiemari]

Age doesnt really mean anything in my opinion. When you find someone you truly like it won't matter. It could be someone older then you or maybe someone younger or your age. For me I see the person and not the age

[mihai]

You are only 20 so you have a nice long life ahead of you. You have plenty of time to both fulfill your sexual needs and prepare yourself to be a great partner for the right man some time. I would love to hear more of how you came to Germany from Sweden and where you'd prefer to be. I look forward to getting to know you better![/QUOTE]

I camed from roamania not sweden. Hope to move soon from my moms boyfriend, he has a stressing-the-other-person attitude

[ChadCoxRox]

Sorry, I knew Romania, but thought Sweden... alzheimers to look forward too...

So you had to move because you were young and dependent? What about now? Are you "trapped"? What do you plan to do?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I never called you insane. I did, however, imply your an alcoholic on more than one occasion.

Every single time you have a 'problem post' alcohol comes into the picture.

Alcohol clouds one's judgement. One glass of wine, one glass with vodka, one ale or one beer is enough to loosen a person up and they start doing things that they do not do when cold stone sober.

Pot also loosens people up.

You bought a vodka because you were bored. You didn't go BACK to the bar - implying you were at the bar to begin with.

I think its going to be real hard to determine who you really are as long as you have alcohol in the bloodstream, or Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC, the active ingredient in pot).

Just because he is 33 doesn't mean you are into older men. I have no idea how good looking of a 33 year old you were dealing with. A lot of guys and gals do not really age that much between 20 and 40. Many act years and decades younger, many look years and decades younger.

Getting kissed by a (one, singular) man regardless of his age doesn't set a pattern for life. It could have been a fluke, it could have been he was just a really hot 33 year old man, it could have been too much vodka in the system.

Now if you find yourself constantly falling for 'older' men then yes you are into older men. If its a one off thing or varies depending on the person, then there are other things you are falling for, not age.

Had he not mentioned his age, would you have considered him 'old'? Most likely not. Its not until he tells you a number that the number became an issue.