Telling Dad

[JisthenewK]

I have gotten closer to my dad, but that hasn't changed his opinions on gay people (which aren't too great). I'm sure deep down my dad knows I'm gay, but won't say anything. I know he will love me no matter what, but I'm scared to tell him. My mum is allowing me to, but she said if it would make it easier, she would tell him for me. What should I do?

[Blue]

In your place, I would ask Mom to be there for support but, I'd want to be the one to tell him. I'd feel better if it came from me personally rather than anyone else.

[dfiant]

I would do what ever you feel comfortable with. It is not cowardly to take the path of less resistance, it is actually natural, no one would think any less of you if your mum talked to your dad first, because either way it is you that is going to have to talk to your dad anyway, but if it feels right to let your mother talk to him first, then go for it

[ChadCoxRox]

If you are sure deep down he knows and you are sure he won't ever truly accept it but will still love you, why does anyone need to tell him anything?

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie , there is no rush to tell him, if you do not feel comfortable then wait.
Either way make sure your mom is with you for support.

[Rawr]

Personally, if I were in your dad's position, I'd want you to tell me. It'd make me feel more like you trusted me enough to do so. For that reason, If I was in your position I'd want to tell my dad personally as well. I don't think I'd like the suspense knowing that he knows, and not knowing how he feels about it. At least if you tell him face to face you can see all the emotion play out in front of you. Get a better understanding. That's just from my perspective though.

I think if you can tell him personally, that would be the best. Having said that, if you would rather your mum break it to him gently, then that is also fine. You can perhaps get your mum to drop hints? that way your mum can help you decide if it were be best for her to break it to him, or for you to do so. Though that might just gave it away instantly. I liked the option above of maybe telling him personally but having your mum their for moral support.

Anyway, hope this helps good luck!

[pellaz]

myself as a parent we had a talk with the daughter, what it meant for us if she was gay and why its important for parents to always emotionally support their children. The daughter had a steady bf in her senior high school and early college years and there were house rules so they could sleep over. A gay girl friend would have the same setup.

I cant under stand how your father can live with you 15+years and not know or care your gay. Said it many times here the parent must not be comfortable with his own sexuality and be homophobic. if he is not supportive no big rush to come out.