So deeply confused

[Blue]

The first step to getting past that fear is to be okay with you, to like yourself as your favorite companion, to be able to be alone without feeling lonely.

No that doesn't mean be prideful, arrogant or conceited, that just means be honest with yourself and stop being your own worst critic and enemy. Treat yourself and look at yourself as you look at others. Acknowledge the faults and, embrace, and enjoy the positives.

Once you can do that, being alone is a lot easier, and, yes rejection still hurts, but you know form the moment it happens that you will be okay, and you don't let it destroy your self worth because that is personal, and individual to you. You know you have a few faults and things you need to improve about yourself, but you also know that over all, you're a pretty cool guy and, it's they who have lost the most in rejecting you.

Like any of us, you'll spend a little while blaming them entirely, then yourself entirely, then just shifting into neutral for a bit, then one heck of a storm sorting it out and getting it all into perspective, but through it all you know who you are and what is good about you, why you like yourself and, you know that you will be okay no matter what this world throws at you.

[Rainbowmum]

Hank sweetie,
I know I have said this before ,but I cannot say it enough .
Self acceptance is your key out of societies brainwashing, pull of the layers , one by one.

If you believe in God , than believe that the way you are is perfect.

[GossamerMoon]

I just want to add my two cents...

I got married thirteen years ago. We liked each other a lot, but neither of us was truly in love. For the longest time (since high school), I told myself I wasn't gay, that I was bi, simply because it would be easier to have that notion of having a traditional family. All this time later, I see my thought processes as they were, but I can't regret it because we have two children I love more than anyone or thing.

Based on this small nugget of my experience, I want to offer you this advice: If you ever get married or enter into a long-term relationship, do it for love. Be open to what life (or "God," if you prefer) sends your way.

I'm not saying the label of "bisexual" is a cop-out. I truly believe many people are, and I have my "straight" crushes, but to be honest, those are just physical, pretty boy crushes, and emotionally, I can't stand straight guys for more than just friends. In my estimation, I don't consider this to make me bi. Would I do Adam Levine given a chance? Quite possibly (he is very pretty!). But I have no interest in a relationship.

The point is, allow your mind to open to the possibilities. How does thinking this or that make you feel? Can you imagine being with a man or woman for the rest of your life (or more than one)?

I'm falling asleep here, so I'll stop before it stops making sense. Hopefully it made enough sense to help!

[GossamerMoon]

I looked at some of the search results from Bow's link up there, and I really got a kick out of this one:
http://www.nuwinepress.com/Top10waysGodl...ticle.html

It's cheeky, but it should make any reasonable person think. Emphasis on reasonable.

Anyway, there it is.

[hank]

The weird thing to me is I am not attracted to the "pretty" women, I like real women with curves and soft middles. My attraction to men is similar, Male models don't trip my trigger guys who have a little fat on them. I was about 25 when I started having these feelings for women. I accepted the fact that I was gay but decided I would not have sex with anyone. But that was when it began.

[princealbertofb]

Hank, each to his own... Some day you may just meet the person who sweeps you off your feet; If he's a male, let's hope he'll want the kids too. If she's a woman, it'll make that part of the deal easier. In any case, do try to be true to yourself. It's the key to well being and happiness.