Really unhappy...like someone that i should not like

[hank]

Thanks. I know I want get anything out of it. Thats why i want to get over him as soon as possible, so that i can treat him completely as a friend. Will you tell me how you proceeded to be friends with that girl?

So nobody that lives with you knows your gay? The only people that talk to you about it is us?

Really the reason i lived this girl isn't because she is a beauty queen, she was convenient, i had never had a real friend of the opposite sex before. She was quite tomboyish and very sweet. I started wanting her because she knew me and accepted me she liked me very much the same way I liked her. Up to that point i had only ever had sexual thoughts toward male people.

But like any flame it will burn out. It just wasn't possible. It hurt for some time, seeing her meant secret pain only short lived. And a current friendship that is very valuable to me.

[behrens2001]

So nobody that lives with you knows your gay? The only people that talk to you about it is us?

Really the reason i lived this girl isn't because she is a beauty queen, she was convenient, i had never had a real friend of the opposite sex before. She was quite tomboyish and very sweet. I started wanting her because she knew me and accepted me she liked me very much the same way I liked her. Up to that point i had only ever had sexual thoughts toward male people.

But like any flame it will burn out. It just wasn't possible. It hurt for some time, seeing her meant secret pain only short lived. And a current friendship that is very valuable to me.

Yeah not even people who live with me. Nobody in this entire world knows im gay except for u guys. And yes, ur the only people im talking to. And i value this so much as you can imagine. Im a mess

[behrens2001]

What you have is a massive crush on the guy.
Trust me he is not as perfect as you believe him to be , when we long for something , it be comes a priority,if we cannot have it , we want it more.

Time to turn the page , get out there you never know what can happen.
Meet people enjoy your life.

Thank you! ur such a sweetheart. I know he is not perfect. In fact he is like an ass quite often, haha. But literally i dont know why i like him. Thats why i dont know how to give up and continue to enjoy my life

[hank]

I would advise you to start thinking about coming out. even if your roommate was gay I would always feel like this. I know it's hard, but it's a process need to start.

who always be thinking about who's finding out that you are gay. if you tell 'em the confusions over, it also means you're in control. I would start thinking about the first. living in the closet sucks.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Its called falling in love.

Its like walking up many flight of stairs to get to the roof of a really, really tall building and then walking off the roof - suddenly gravity takes over and there ain't nothing you can do to stop it.

Falling in love = Falling - just as helpless as you are when gravity kicks in (yes gravity sucks) once love kicks in there is nothing you can do (and yes love sucks too).

Fortunately for both gravity and love there is usually something very solid and resists all of that falling at the bottom. With gravity you literally bounce and shatter every bone in your body, with love it only feels like you have bounced and shattered every bone, organ and part of your body that you didn't even know you had.

Did I say fortunately... Ooopps, my bad.

The best you can do at this point is grin and bear it. Understand laughing on the way to your own execution is never understood by less enlightened beings and they will call you crazy. So be crazy and laugh at your situation - no one around you will get the joke.


Another word of advice, do not come out to your roommates. They will not take fondly to this new discovery this late in the game. One (or both) will assume you have been lying so you could see them naked or something.

DO, however, start looking for a fresh start, another place and during that transition seriously consider coming out to the new roommates BEFORE you become a roommate.

[hank]

Browyn arrow is right, i left that bit out. Don't come out to your roommates until you move. Sorry i neglected to add that in.

[Zennyboy]

Thanks for your advice. I would really want to talk to someone. But im still in the closet and no one knows im gay..so..yeah....my life is pretty miserable, haha

we know your gay, so talk to us &^.^

[behrens2001]

we know your gay, so talk to us &^.^

Thats what im doing now, haha. Everytime after i talke with you guys when i have an issue, i feel so much better. Really grateful

[behrens2001]

I would advise you to start thinking about coming out. even if your roommate was gay I would always feel like this. I know it's hard, but it's a process need to start.

who always be thinking about who's finding out that you are gay. if you tell 'em the confusions over, it also means you're in control. I would start thinking about the first. living in the closet sucks.

i totally agree with u..living in the closet sucks so much....so much..but i dont have the guts to come out man..im a pussy..

[lukasph]

Try doing activities without him (going to the gym, running, swimming, etc.) and go with other friends... This will help take him off your mind every time. It's very unfortunate that he's straight, but he seems a good friend and I'm sure you wouldn't want to lose him, event just as a friend